1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

What day of the week is it thread

Discussion in 'Wycombe' started by Guywanderer, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2001
    Ron and Guywanderer like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2002
    Guywanderer likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    I was in a restaurant the other evening and I ordered Napoleon chicken for the first time.
    When It came there was no meat just the carcass.
    I said: "What's this?!!"
    "She said: "It's the boney part".
     
    #2003
    Ron and Guywanderer like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    I said to my Welsh girlfriend, "I just ran to the shops to get you your hair shampoo."
    "Pantene?"
    I said, "Yeah, I'm completely out of breath!"
     
    #2004
    Guywanderer likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2005
    Guywanderer likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
    My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Maureen to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
    I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support my wife. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

    EDITOR'S NOTE:
    Ron died suddenly on November 29 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
     
    #2006
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2007
    Guywanderer likes this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2008
    Guywanderer likes this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2009
    mowgli1960 and Guywanderer like this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2010
    Guywanderer likes this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2011
    Guywanderer likes this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
    "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
    "Good. What comes after three."
    "Four," answers Johnny.
    "What comes after six?"
    "Seven."
    "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
    "A Jack," said Johnny.
     
    #2012
    Guywanderer likes this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2013
    Guywanderer likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2014
    Guywanderer likes this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2015
    Guywanderer likes this.
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2016
    Guywanderer likes this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2017
    Guywanderer likes this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2018
    Guywanderer likes this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    I don't usually like to blame referees but he clearly cost Scotland that game today.

    I thought things were going pretty well until he blew that whistle at 2.00pm to start the match.
     
    #2019
    Guywanderer likes this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    143,815
    Likes Received:
    262,456
    please log in to view this image
     
    #2020
    Guywanderer likes this.

Share This Page