I suppose I’m in the minority but I always lick the knife when I’m done. None of the other surgeons seem to do it.
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.
Teacher asks the kids in her class what their fathers did for a living."Mary, what does your dad do?" "He's a doctor, miss." "Joe, what does your dad do?" "He's a pilot, miss." "Billy, what"s your dad do?" "My dad's dead, miss" "Oh Billy, I"m so sorry............what did he do before he died?" "He turned purple, farted and fell on the dog, miss."
The farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped, and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next, he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased with his new facial adornment, he had his picture taken and sent it off to his parents. On the back of the photo, he scrawled "How do you like it? Don't I look like a count?" Shortly after, the son received this terse note: "You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't even spell..."
I've just heard that a guy has collapsed on the London Eye today. Paramedics on the scene say he's coming around slowly.
I thought I'd nip over to see what you've all been doing today and you had gone. Some bugger moved you to the Championship section. You are still bottom mind.