Your missus. She's a ****ed up ****... Post here how she does your ****in head in.

Yeah, she's ****in mental.

 

Whats she done?

 

Had a nice day, Schlem?

 

Plays Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Google nest every time she's in the kitchen.

She's ten ****ing years younger than me, not older for **** sake.

Andrew Lloyd Webber.

 

"Hey, Google, play Andrew Lloyd Webber"

" Hey, Google, shut the **** up"

 

Schlem must have cooked something.

 

Or tried to slip her something.

 

Not much tbh mines alright most of the time.

It annoys me she don't argue back sometimes. She just waits it out til I realise I'm a bit of a **** which is a ****ty thing to do really the fukin evil bitch

 

Cock slip up the arse is a surprise no one is prepared for in my experience.

 

Saturday night Schlem

Always great value, dog house on a Sunday morning is seemingly standard for the poor lad. I proper couldn’t be arsed with the drama me, I’d rather live on my Jack.

 

Could at least be polite and just take it.

They are married after all.

 

You reckon she’s pegged him again?

 

Watch Schlem start asking @luvgonzo about camper vans, so that he can **** off 5 miles up the road and do just that.

 

My last bird before this one was a nightmare in comparison, I honestly couldn't put up with that **** now having been with a mentally stable person

 

1st time I done that to a bird (by accident) I was more shocked it felt no diff to the other hole.

Went straight in like a dream.

And she even pretended to be all shocked like "aahhhh".... "Yeh my arse love" I thought. no pun intended.

 

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I got some sex stories that would make your toes curl bro, and ya stomach

 

Fosse?

 

Yeah, coz the rest of us only ever use the rhythm method in the missionary position.