Emirates Stadium. Dateline Friday 27.01.17 Enter Toady Toady: Boss, I've got a possible team sheet for tomorrow Arsene: Ah yes. That Southampton. Zey will play that Van Dijk T: He's injured, boss A: Ha! So that leaves Fonte exposed T: He's gone, boss. West Ham. A: So surely he will not play the young boy without protection? T: Gardos, boss. A: Gardos? Who is zis Gardos T: No-one knows, boss. Apparently he used to play for them, but there are people now retired who have spent their entire lives awaiting his return. A: That Bertrand is good T: Won't play boss, and before you ask, neither will Romeu, Cedric, Yoshida or Davies. Oh and Ward-Prowse A: Good player T: But injured A: So who is left? T: Well, there's a programme seller called Mike, a tea lady called Susan - nice woman, makes a great brew, and Claude has put himself on the bench. A: OK, weakened team. Is Welbeck still on the books? T: Yes, boss A: Right play him. And that Theo whatsisface. And then anyone hanging around looking like they need a game Arsene exits to Elbow "It's looking like a beautiful day" No gulf between the teams, is there?