Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Postcard humour, eh

 

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that moment, I would have needed to clarify that men ponder deeply on diverse subjects, sparking further inquiries.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

 

I think I've posted this before but I love it, so here it is again

 

My father always told me to keep a cricket bat under my bed for protection.

Turned out to be substantially less effective than condoms.

 

Apparently just 20 pence a day can feed a starving African child.
I had no idea that they ate money

 

I'm having regular sex with a blind woman.

The sex is great but it isn't easy getting her husband’s voice right.

 

Is this what you would call toilet humour?

 

Bloody brilliant story and well told

Never heard this

 

Appreciate the humour and the fact - but just can’t press a button that says I “like” !

 

A new study shows that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
You know I can’t remember the last time that I ate a monkey.