Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Women , so ungrateful , especially the wife ones. I’ve spent all our married life opening the car door for her , not a word of thanks — but first time I didn’t - there’s hell to pay .
But I was in a panic - and just swam for the surface

 

The wife was breast-feeding in the Asda restaurant this morning, and suffered some nasty abuse.
"Can't you do that somewhere private? It's f*cking disgusting!" a woman complained.
"Why can't you mind your own business?" I glared at her, wiping milk off my chin.

 

Painting
Something a Jamaican takes paracetamol for

 

I got a massive erection today during a routine prostate examination. I tried to hide it but it was pretty obvious, so I tried to laugh it of instead.
Anyway, long story short, I'm no longer working as a GP.

 

Thought you'd shared a pic from a gay bar

 

Non binary prospector . . . . there's gold in them/their hills.

 

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Deleted

 

Back in the 70s when I was a bobby I stopped a car in Middlesbrough doing something similar to this.
The front seat passenger was hanging out the window holding a gallon petrol can as high as he could with a tube leading under the car bonnet attached to the carbaretta.
The driver explained he was having engine trouble and was testing how many miles he could drive on a gallon of petrol, he just couldn't see what they were doing wrong...There's some strange people in smoggie land.

 

Your right,1 of my apprentices we in the dock area painting a sign board, when this middle aged lady approached him asking if he fancied it, he said its just a job, come on its just £50 it will make your day.
He said **** that bob only pays me £60 a day he I'm not coming all the way down here for a tenner I'd rather just have a ****, she said ok that's just fifteen quid, nah ya stink

 

How it happened . . . .

Three dinosaurs are running across the forest when they stumble upon a magic lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie says

The first dinosaur thinks hard then says "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat." and the biggest, juiciest piece of meat that he'd ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder and says "I know . . . . I'll have a shower of meat" and huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs and says "I've got it . . . . I want a MEATIER shower"