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Post a lie about the poster above.

Discussion in 'Peterborough' started by DMD, Oct 14, 2014.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Obi loves rubbing plum sauce into big breasts, oh yeah, oh yeah.......
     
    #961
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 29, 2015
  2. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    So as not to be left out, Woopert likes to make a tit of himself.
     
    #962
    DMD, Mar 30, 2015
  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    DMD can now be found wandering the aisles of most major supermarkets carrying jars of plum sauce asking females if they know what the best use of plum sauce is
     
    #963
    kiwiqpr, Mar 30, 2015
  4. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Kiwi wishes he had a plum job too.
     
    #964
    DMD, Mar 30, 2015
  5. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    DMD shocked customers in his local Chinese restaurant when he got up shouted "anyone for plum sauce?" dropped his trousers and placed his plums in the dip.

    One customer asked if they could try the mini spring roll but DMD was kicked out first.
     
    #965
    Obi Wan, Mar 30, 2015
    Wooperts_duck and DMD like this.
  6. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Obi learned he knows about plums from nursery rhymes.

    At least that's what he claimed at A&E when he reckoned his thumb was stuck up there after he slipped trying to get it in his plums.

    Jack Horner, my arse. As the saying goes.
     
    #966
    DMD, Mar 30, 2015
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  7. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    DMD also learnt from nursery rhymes, because when it's up, it's up, and when it's down, it's down, but when it's only half way up, it helps if she goes down.
     
    #967
    Obi Wan, Mar 30, 2015
  8. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Obi is hoping I don't mention he shares so much with the Grand Old Duke of York.

    He had 10,000 men too.
     
    #968
    DMD, Mar 31, 2015
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  9. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    Dutch and Jill
    went up the hill
    to fetch a pail of water
    Dutch acted the clown
    But his pants fell down
    And Jill pi$$ed herself with laughter
     
    #969
    Obi Wan, Mar 31, 2015
  10. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Obi and Jill
    Went up the hill
    to have some hanky panky.
    Obi went down, and he certainly didn't frown
    When he realised Jill's actually Franky.
     
    #970
    DMD, Mar 31, 2015
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Oh dear, what can the matter be
    Obi and DVD got locked in the lavatory
    They were there from Monday to Saturday
    Only Minxy knew they were there.....
     
    #971
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 11, 2015
  12. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Wooperts duck thought
    What jolly good sorts,
    there's a thread that's all done in rhyme.

    He's not realised,
    They're supposed to be lies,
    He'll perhaps get it right the next time.

    (The last line's obviously the lie)
     
    #972
    DMD, Apr 21, 2015
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  13. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me
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    DMD is a good poet <ok>
     
    #973
    Minxy, Apr 22, 2015
  14. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Minxy doesn't do sarcasm.
     
    #974
    DMD, Apr 22, 2015
  15. Minxy

    Minxy Just Me
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    DMD wouldn't recognise sarcasm if it bit him on the bum ;)
     
    #975
    Minxy, Apr 22, 2015
  16. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    Minxy didn't recognise DMD when he bit her on thd bum.
     
    #976
    Obi Wan, Apr 22, 2015
  17. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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    Obese Wan nearly got his head caught in the crossfire when Minxy tried to bite DMD on the bum.
     
    #977
    DMD, Apr 22, 2015
  18. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    As part of Disney's diversification education programme, DMD will be starring in the new Star Wars VII movie as a penniless, gay, northern, midget, Stormtrooper with one leg and a speech impediment meaning he pronounces Hull as 'Ull.
     
    #978
    Obi Wan, Apr 25, 2015
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Walt Disney once asked Obese Wan to appear in one of his films, but Obe was only used to acting in silent movies with the likes of Charlie Chaplin, so he kept forgetting his lines which really annoyed Mickey Mouse and Goofy, so they got him fired and replaced by Pluto.
     
    #979
    Wooperts_duck, Apr 25, 2015
  20. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace

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    Woopert is still angry that he never got his big Movie break, as he always felt he had far more talent than both Daffy and Donald.
     
    #980
    Obi Wan, Apr 25, 2015
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