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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8821
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O’Grady after mass.

    He says: “So what’s bothering you?”

    She replies: “Oh, Father, I’ve terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

    The priest says: “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Did he have any last requests?”

    "Certainly father," she replied. “He said: “Please Mary, put down that damn gun.”
     
    #8822
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    How long is this social distancing meant to be going on for?

    My kids keep trying to get back into the house.......
     
    #8823
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  4. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Last week, a lorry carrying Vicks Vapor Rub collided with one carrying Olbas Oil on the M27 near Hedge End. Both vehicles shed their loads...

    ...Strangely, there was no congestion whatsoever.
     
    #8824
    Uber_Hoop, Mar 23, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8825
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8826
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8827
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  8. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot Well-Known Member

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    Two chaps who happen to have cleft palates are in a pub.

    One says "You see that guy sat over there? Him with the red hair, red face and a ten-gallon hat on his table?
    I'm sure that's Red Adair"

    His mate says "Course it's not. Ask him then"

    First guy goes over and says "Excuse me - are you Red Adair?"
    The man replies "Sure as hell am, son. You got an oil-well fire and I'll put it out for you"

    So first guy goes back to his mate and says "See? It WAS Red Adair"

    Mate says: "All right then - if that's Red Adair, where the hell is Ginger Rogers?"
     
    #8828
    Paulpowersleftfoot, Mar 23, 2020
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8829
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 23, 2020
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #8830
    kiwiqpr, Mar 24, 2020
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    This quarantine is affecting everyone in the work force, but it especially sucks for men We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing
     
    #8831
    kiwiqpr, Mar 24, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8832
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8833
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8834
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just popping to the shops to get a few bits!!!!!!!!
     
    #8835
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8836
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If anybody wants a copy of Osteopath Weekly, I have back issues.........
     
    #8837
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Catholic priest bumps into his friend the vicar, the vicar says
    "you know it's terrible someone stole my bike it's not where I normally leave it you think even thieves would leave a vicars bike alone" the priest says"
    you know what you should do, on Sunday give a sermon on the Ten Commandments but when you get to thou shalt not steal really got to town, hellfire and damnation that sort of thing, it may make whoever took your bike feel guilty and bring it back" the following week the priest meets the vicar riding his bike and says " I see you got your bike back did the sermon work? "In a way" says the vicar "I did what you said and did my sermon on the Ten Commandments but when I got to thou shalt not commit adultery I remembered where I left my bike!!!
     
    #8838
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8839
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #8840
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 24, 2020
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