Hello, team. How are we???

Hello, I’m Barney Chuckles. You may remember me from threads such as ‘Who’s your favourite Royal’ and ‘Dirty Boy! Go wash your hands’.

The salutation ‘How are we???’ has over the years become somewhat functional and almost non-descript. Right now though it has real meaning combined with a wish that people really can answer in the affirmative. I really hope everyone is well right now and able to look towards the future with real optimism.

I haven’t been on the dear old forum much since just before Christmas but hope to remedy that malady from now on in. So how did the membership fare at Cheltenham ’20??? For one it was divided into 2 parts. Up to and including the Coral Cup and then after the Coral Cup. To quote old boy Bernard Matthews the former was ‘boutiful, really boutiful’ but the latter something of ‘a turkey’. Although had either The Storyteller or my beloved Santini obliged things would have been different.

What do we think about the current racing behind closed doors??? I’m still having some trouble adjusting to racing without the roar of the crowd, the sound and smell of the common man, the sight and sneer of a minor Royal or the joviality of the ‘Owners and Trainers Bar’. Still early days, I guess, and I just need to work at things. Personally, I think the best feat has been Grace Harris’ accomplishment in achieving black type (see what I did there) with the mare, Bungee Jump. Whilst honourable mention also goes to old boy Battaash for blitzing the ‘King’s Stand’, Mr Ponsonby for getting it up not once but twice at Royal Ascot (such a shame that Her Majesty, Princess Camilla and his dear pal Lieutenant Henderson couldn’t witness this stunning achievement in person) and Hey Jonesy for finally delivering in the ‘Wokingham’ what he had been threatening to do for over a year.

Meanwhile, a real negative, re the action right now for me at any rate, is the absence of my fave type of heats – sellers and claimers. Although I do, of course, realise why they aren’t been contested at the moment.

I love that there is a ‘Cheltenham ‘21’ thread on the forum although there need to be some heads hung in shame as it ain’t been updated since April! I would though hope to make plenty of additions to this thread over the coming days, weeks and months that follow.

In conclusion I realise that moi has been a bit pretentious in creating a thread of my own but just wanted to say ‘Hello’ again and ask with real meaning, ‘How are we???’

Cheerio now.

 

Hi Barney. Nice to see you back.

 

I'm guessing you have been self isolating at HMP, hope all is ok as you start to get back to
normality ..whatever that is.

Now to see who can put up the longest post you or Grendal.

must admit a wry smile crossed my face when I saw you had started your very own
look at me thread.

welcome back

 

I was just wondering yesterday where the forums favourite poster had disappeared to.

 

Wait until a certain horse from the Blake barn makes its handicap bow and I’m sure I’ll break the longest ever post record. Incidentally, hasn’t anyone attributed that pretentious moi reference yet?!? Standards certainly have slipped in my absence.

Actually, I had a total break from the sport during lockdown (wasn’t hard I know given the absence of any races) and from Midlands Grand National day to early June barely read a single report on the horses. Probably done me good as I now arrive on the scene with a fresh mind and a clear (or clearer) head.

 

The good thing with long posts is that nobody can quite remember what you said.

The bad thing with long posts is that nobody can quite remember what you said.

 

Good to see you back Barney! We look forward to hearing your pearls of wisdom..

 

It's good to see you back Barn. Opening up with your own OP was a great idea, it added some warmth to the offering. Some long posts are work to get through, but others like the one you posted today are a joy because of the wit and freshness of the content. Easily the best two posts in the last few days have been your return contribution and Grendel's brilliant shredding of John Gosden's placement of Waldkonig. I loved the following bit. "The Racing Post Ratings have Highest Ground needing 16 lbs to catch Waldkonig up and if we were to call the remainder of the entries "trees" it would be insulting to the woodlands of the United Kingdom."

 

Top marks, old boy, top marks. And the very first episode as well I believe (although not THAT episode). What a rogue that old Lord Melbury was. Cor blimey I doubt dear old Torquay has seen villianry like it since.

The next question must be who can attribute the second sentence in the opening paragraph??? Something of a tribute to a classic character.

 

Hi, I'm Troy McClure and you may remember me from such Educational Films and Self Help Videos as:- "Smoke Yourself Thin"

 

So the plague did not darken the portcullis at Chuckles Towers...

In the words of Neil Diamond:

“Hello, my friend, hello
Just called to let you know
I think about you every night
When I’m here alone
And you’re there at home
Hello”​

As one who has genuflected afore Her Majesty, does one do so when the great unwashed are out protesting their lowly status and vandalising tributes to their superiors? Who does one send to the cellar for a new bottle of port when the scullion has been apprehended protesting when he should have been on duty?

 

No, scullion employed, old boy. Just the steward to keep my glass regularly filled with the old GnT. What, what?!?

 

Excellent. Troy McClure indeed. Personally, I remember him ‘from such instructional videos as "Mothballing your battleship" and "Dig your own grave and save!"’ His words not mine.

 

Hi barney , you been in some fourth dimension for a few months , missed some interesting discussions whilst racing was suspended , unfortunately the threads have been deleted , not locked .
I’m sure you’ll entertain us with the comings and goings of high society , and their personal trainers ........