Brilliant and absolutely spot on. When the SBS (Special Boat Services) were dropped onto the deck of the oil tanker in the dark, they captured the seven Nigerians in seven minutes flat, handed them over to the Royal Navy, and then flew away in their helicopters in complete darkness, and returned to their base in Poole, Dorset. We heard them flying over our house on the Island on their way home !
My wife left me because of my obsession with Elton John, AND she took all the chairs with her. I'm still standing
Woman goes into the opticians and says "I am returning the glasses I bought for my husband." "Why ever are you doing that ?" asked the receptionist. She replied "He is still not seeing things my way !"
My wife and I decided that we didn't want children....so if any of you are interested we have a boy aged 6 and a girl aged 3.
Enter our Junior Hoops Pumpkin Carving Competition please log in to view this image Winner by a country mile, a real pumpkin head. No more pumpkins after Cardiff's win on 31st October.
I’m having a funeral for my pet turkey on Christmas Day. I’m inviting up to 30 mourners who will stay for the wake. It will be an emotional affair - the laughter will be us bravely smiling through the tears.
I'm gonna be turning my lights out this Halloween and pretending I'm not in... Sod the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.