NEW MANAGER

I'm doing ok pal, thanks for asking. The buggas always ache when it's cold and damp, but I have tramadol and voltarol to keep me company. hahaha

 

He's back Robbie. See his Barnsley Matchday Thread.

 

Just "unstuck" this thread being as we've now got him.

 

Nice job sparkey. What did you use? It's just that someone said that Maskey is looking for something to help him get his longjohns off (no offence intended).

 

Longjohns for sale. Slightly soiled.............and sticky.

 

Has he tried Nitromors?

 

EXCLUSIVE! From new WOL correspondent Clingo.
Here follows the transcript from Mick McCarthy's introductory team talk.

McCarthy:
Alright lads? Never mind. I'm Mick McCarthy and you can call me. You can call me but I probably won't answer. As you know, I am very famous and part of the Barnsley Irish Collective. Any questions so far?

(A few hands go up)

McCarthy:
"Good but I'm not answering them. You'll need to do it in writing first so that I can decide if I like the question. Anyway, standing next to me is Terry Connor, Andy Dribble and Jimmy Rowberry. Terry is my assistant while Andy is in charge of dining etiquette whilst Jimmy drives the first team coach. Now I don't want you to worry about Terry. I know he once played for Swanage Town or whatever they're called now but he's seen the light and is now dedicated to fulfilling my wishes wherever I may be. By the way, Cyprus was a blast and we spent some good nights getting s**tfaced and strutting our stuff to the Floral Dance. Anyway, don't worry about Swanage. Judging by the number of threads and mentions of us on their not606 thing, they're more worried about us! Any questions?"

(A few hands go up)

McCarthy:
"No. Didn't you hear what I said about questions? Anyway, before I go any further, I just want to say a word about Smithies. I really enjoyed what you did in The Simpsons. If you suck up to me in the way you did to Mr Burns, you'll never lose your place even if the ref is a homer. "

(A haunting silence as a strong breeze whistles through the dressing room before a new voice is heard)

Alex Smithies:
"Boss. You've got it mixed up. It's Smither's in the Simpsons."

McCarthy:
"Is it? He's not on my list. What position does he play? Anyway, not to worry. Keepers are two a penny. I want to move on to this thing that you all have to do when the crowd demand it. You know, when you have to hit yourself on the top of the head repeatedly with both hands. I'm getting rid of it and I've written to every Cardiff supporter telling them to stop it. Two reasons for this and the first being that I'm more important than that Ieuan Tollah bloke and secondly, because having watched some performances this season, I'm sure it's affected decision making. From now on, the crowd will chant "Do the Mick McCarthy". Doing the Mick McCarthy will involve looking like you're violently thumping a table while at the same time mouthing F**k Off in an angry manner. There's a training video available from a bloke called Oldsparkey on our not606 thingy. Any questions?"

(No hands go up).

McCarthy:
"Well done lads, you're learning already. Now there's one more person for me to tell you about and that's my man (and I use the word loosely) in charge of discipline and morale. His name is Maskey and he's keen on talking endlessly about his todger. He likes to drop the "e" out of his name and just have "ky" on the end of it. You can draw your own conclusions about this but I would caution about dropping the soap in the showers. Any questions?"

(Complete silence and worried faces)

McCarthy:
"Ok lads. I think that's enough for today. Just remember that you are representing the first city of a great country. Bluebirds, Bluebirds, Bluebirds"

(Mass chanting ensues)

Report from Clingo 14.57 27/1/2021

 

Excellent work correspondent Clingo.

I must admit I thought you were going to do Paul Simon references. "You can call me......Al"

But only if I can call you Betty.

I look forward to the Canton end chant replacing the Ieuan Tollah.

Also interesting regarding the number of times our club is referenced on the Swanage Town board. Infatuated or what? Who said inferiority complex?

I look forward to your report on Emperor Mick's next presentation.

 

I'm deeply gratified.

 

Excellent piece there Clingo. I wonder if Kemo Sabe has read it.

 

Don't worry - there was a mention of the "todger" word and the "ky" stuff, so he'll respond.

 

Geez, talk about having too much time on your hands !!!! seriously, a well written and constructive piece of fantasy literature in keeping with the reputation of the person in question, (MM or Masky) no offence. McCarthy Out placard for sale

 

Clingo is a demon with his quill.

 

Nothing like a bit of feathery hardware. (software in Maskey's case - no offence)
Nibs for sale.