Off Topic Any divorcees on here ?

I've not been divorced but it's clear from observing others that the easiest ones are where both parties get themselves and especially any children through the change curve (worth looking up) as fast as possible.

So that's sorting finances, selling the house, setting up new pads, access to kids and everyone resettled as quick as possible.

Its common sense but if both parties drag it out over months and even years arguing via solicitors, you are just destroying everyone's lives beyond that needed.

 

If there are kids involved, the repercussions last for years, even beyond those kids reaching adulthood.
I would advise anyone getting married that they should only go through with it if both parties are certain beyond doubt that they will spend the rest of their lives together.

 

The use of the past tense is interesting. Any reason why he's not your mate anymore?

 

Yeah i was the Lesbian .

Only joking by the way.

 

Mine was unusual, at the time, as I was awarded custiody of our eight year old daughter.

No a lot of spare cash about either.

But I got used to it all and the plus side was getting away from the reasons that caused the breakdown.
What ever you might think at first, YOU WILL GET OVER IT.

Then nine years later I met and married a wonderfull girl and the earlier episode was just a vague, generaly ignored, memory.

My advice is, ---

IF you think it can be repaired, try this first.

If you think it is beyond repair, end it as soon as possible, then start up on the rest of your life.

I appreciate that this approach is not for everybody, but it's what worked, eventualy and after a great deal of pain, for me.

 

Try another bloke then you’ve got nowt to lose.

 

Thinking about it

 

Been married to the same lady nearly 51 years man and boy and luckily we've never got to a divorce situation in fact never been close.
Been lucky? Possibly
Just think if you find the right one and are prepared to work hard at it it has it's compensations.

 

It would have been my golden wedding anniversary this Saturday.
Worst thing to happen on September 11th ever.
Celebrated 40 years with the current ladywife earlier this year.

 

I'm probably an exception, but I split with my ex when my son was 5 and my daughter 1. Somehow managed to keep it on " friendly" terms for the kids, so they have had no real repercussions for them, or at least no emotional problems, that do have to swap houses as it's a 50 50 share custody.

 

Im in exactly the same situation with my ex mate, we have a 50/50 custody situation and keep things as friendly as possible.
My lads were 3 when we split 5 years ago, and they loved and still love the fact they have 2 different bedrooms and toys between 2 different houses.

 

Must have been a good year to separate, 5 years for me to

My son's reaction when we sat him down to explain what was going to happen "okay, can I go play now"

 

Happened when my daughter was 2. I have a 50/50 arrangement too. She doesn't remember it so its entirely what she's used to. The constantly having to arrange our lives around someone else, another household, the negotiations are wearing and I wouldn't have wanted to bring her up this way.

 

Mine are High School age. Wonder if I just wait until they go to Uni....

 

Mine were high school age as well. I remember telling my then 14 year old daughter that we were breaking up and her esponse was "Good, it's about time. We hate it when you two fight all the time".

Kids areoften a lot more aware of things than we realise.

 

Thats a tough one mate because lifes too short, we only get one shot at it.
If you're unhappy then why waste the next however many years staying in the same situation. We never know whats around the corner.

 

Very tough because it's a massive financial headache too IF I do press the button.. Maybe today is just a bad day

 

Its Xmas in 3 months, why dont you give it till the New year and see how you feel then. New year/new start and all that.

 

An arresting sight ?

 

Well it's not the way I planned to bring mine up either, but as far as it goes it's probably the best it can be...

Ask me again in 1 month now that I've asked to reduce the amount I give her every month to help financially support the kids, I might have changed my tune! Her personal situation has changed, and I don't think I need to give her as much anymore (she now has finally got a full time job, and is buying a house with her new bloke ).