Off Topic Your own sporting achievements

Well I certainly was not a screw
I was well trained experienced
Professional officer

 

Im sure you were well trained and no one said you weren't , but you aren't telling me that every single "professional officer" never referred to themselves as a screw at some time. I worked with an ex one from Featherstone Prison and that's what he told me he was. There is a book "Screwed" written by someone who calls himself an "ex screw". I played for "The King Bill", versus "Glen Parva Screws" in a charity match inside Glen Parva YO to raise funds for Leicester Royal Infirmary, way back in the early 90's probably around 1992/93.
A bit like a copper, a bobby, rozzer plod etc
You see Professional people can and will take the mickey out of themselves and aren't always as straight laced nor as sensitive as some it may seem. I never questioned their professionalism nor their ability to do the job.
Now have you any sporting achievements you wish to discuss

 

Played 5 a side for years after giving up 11. Played in a league where the standard was high (myself excluded). Loads of excellent players but one stood out. Played for England Futsal team. He was always top league scorer. His feet were so fast he could just shift it and let fly. Absolute quality. Fortunately for me I never had to try and mark him as my job was to play up top as the hold up man for my team, something to do with my bulk I expect! Got to know the lad quite well overs beers after league night. Told some cracking stories about how good some other countries were at Futsal.

 

When playing for the Supporters Association, there was one lad who could do all sorts of tricks with a football, balance it, flick it, hold it, spin it, on his neck, the lot.... could he **** play football

 

Was voted players player of the year 1991-1992 for Higher Poynton reserves in the Stockport District Sunday league. Cant top that.

 

You certainly can't top it mate. You've already said it was Higher Poynton

 

I got a 147 break on a snooker game on the PS2 about 20 odd year ago.
Scored a hat trick in a 21-0 thrashing of Wrekenton at under-14 level (football)
Played in a team that beat Redheugh 4-2 at under 12 level. (when Redheugh were unbeatable at the time, god knows what they are like now, do they even still exist?) Some of their players had tasches, I kid you not!

 

I can. I won best Sherpa in the Mount Everest Naked All Male Tiddlywinks Championship. My tiddly certainly wasnt winking by the end of it. It had already turned black and dropped off.

 

Played rugby at school and for the district, played cricket very badly for Washington CC, but as a coach I coached the under 11’s along with another coach to five years of 100% win record.

I was featured in a segment during the first Test Match at Durham focused on North East Sporting hero's , along with Bobby Robson , Collingwood and a couple of others who deserved to be there unlike me. I was there because of the work we had done to get junior coaching going at the club and the inter schools cricket we had established and was been played in the week of the Test Match.

 

Sounds very much like you deserved to be there to me mind.

 

I also coached Jordan Pickford, it was only one session and it was cricket, when the under 13 coach was away. However I claim that it is that one session that turned him into the goalkeeper he is today!

 

Represented my school and district in football and won my heat on the area 800 metres but missed the final due to chatting to mates and missed the call to the start line. The race was won by Steve Cramm

 

Who was fully focused on the race and not sharing a sneaky tab/bottle of 20/20 around the back of the refreshment tent?

 

I played one game of football for the top local junior team. I played left wing and scored a hat trick. Next week I was selected for the senior reserves. I never turned up and that was that. Too much pressure.
I got to the final of the North of England u16 boys doubles tennis tournament at Scarborough. We got hammered in the final.
I only played two games of cricket ever. After the A levels Dinky knocked on my door and said Stan would be obliged if I would go and open the bowling for my house. I took 6 for 22 in the first game and 4 for 35 in the final. We lost the final.

 

I played a lot of sports, football, rugby, cricket, squash etc. Kept fit by running 2 or 3 times a week hence the problem with planar fasciitis now
Was pretty average at most of them, but enjoyed them.

Golf now and it is fun (sometimes)

 

How do you mean?

 

Had a trial for Hull City (Goalkeeper) that lasted no more than an hour before they decided I was crap. Wish i'd concentrated when I was younger on golf, much better at that

 

2nd best runner at Dame dorothy street school, 1969 i think, the lad who beat me was called John Lambert and he went to Redhouse juniors when i went there about 1970 i do have the certificate somewhere !. canny at badminton and swimming, hated rugby though.

 

I enjoy, and in equal measure am greatly frustrated by both golf and snooker, but I'm only barely adequate at either. The thing that I find with both of them is that if you judge them on single shots, I can hit some world class ones. My driving is pretty good for distance. I can knock it a long way with a nice draw on the ball. At snooker I can slam in a long red and get perfect position on the black. However, I'm equally likely to drive the ball 30 degrees right or left into the rough, or chip my second completely over the green into a bunker, and having potted an excellent red I'll probably miss the black that's 6" from the pocket that I'd got perfectly placed behind.

I was a pretty good squash player and skier when younger, but the days of me doing any actual athletic sports are long gone.

 

Not really but was quite good at 5 a side in the consett league 1979