Jokes

Did you know that by replacing your morning coffee with a green tea you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you have left in your life. Same as replacing a bacon sanger with a tofu roll up.

 

The problem there though is in your definition of "Allowed" - you say it is something that is not permitted

Hence all the posts regarding various definitions afterwards

 

Anyways I would say lets get this thread back on topic, but my attempts at humour is unlikely to achieve this

my friend recently told me he was thinking about changing from PC to console gaming,

I told him it was time for the Switch, No Pun Nintendo

 

So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about £200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Butt Licking Dog. She said Butt Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it.

 

I know it’s fair to say you guys are not the best of buddies, Roger is right though, please let’s keep the personal insults, digs and jibes (and grammar lessons) out of this thread.

Some time ago I did promise both of you I’d watch for the insults and little digs outside of the anything goes thread

 

Oh I never read anything Roger writes, so that's why I missed it.

 

As the butchers dog

 

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Isn't it weird that right wing nut jobs think it's the flag they're waving that people find offensive ?

 

Paddy tells micky about his recent parachute jump, Micky says wot was it like ? Paddy says well ill tell you , as the plane got higher i started to bottle it a bit but when i was last to get to the door i really farted a lot and was ****ting myself ! but the jump instructor was a huge black man and he said if you don't jump im gonna stick my 14 inch dick up your arse ! Micky says did you jump ? Paddy says " a little bit when it first went in "..

 

I told the missus that I kept getting a burning sensation in my arse and didn't know what it was. She said "ring sting" I said, what makes you think he'll ****ing know?

 

Isn't it weird that left wing nut jobs think it's the EU flag they're waving that people find offensive , comments on a postcard C/o Diane Abbott educational dept Communist Labour HQ

 

This was an attempt to explain to you why posters were making fun of the fact that you decided to pull up someone on their spelling within a forum post, whilst making more than one grammatical error in that very same post.

I would call that more of an ironic post, than a pedantic one, given that being pedantic is being concerned with correcting someone for making small errors, which is exactly what you yourself had done, to a poster you do not like. Thus I would say mine and those other posters who commented upon the definition that you originally posted were more of an ironic response towards your own post.

Just to clarify I am now also being pedantic

 

In yet another attempt to get this thread back on track, I present the following

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A driver was left disappointed after buying the latest Bonnie Tyler voice satnav

He was quoted as saying "it kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it falls apart"

 

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