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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12521
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 28, 2022
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Yes, I'm looking for the Sue Gray report, do you have a copy?

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    #12522
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 28, 2022
  3. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    #12523
    Uber_Hoop, Jan 29, 2022
    UTRs, Wooperts_duck and kiwiqpr like this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12524
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2022
  5. QPRski

    QPRski Well-Known Member

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    Very good! :)
     
    #12525
    QPRski, Jan 30, 2022
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy pulls along side a Lorry and shouts, "Oi mate, you're losing your load!" The driver replies, "Fek off!" 5 miles further along, Paddy again shouts, "Oi, you're losing your load!" The driver then again replies, Feck off!" 5 miles further along, Paddy yells, "I'm not joking, you're losing your load!"

    The driver then shouts, "Will you Feck off you thick twit, I'm gritting!"
     
    #12526
    Wooperts_duck, Jan 30, 2022
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  7. QPRski

    QPRski Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-2-1_23-26-45.jpeg
     
    #12527
    QPRski, Feb 1, 2022
    UTRs, Didley Squat, kiwiqpr and 3 others like this.
  8. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    I was given one of those when l started my Carpentry apprenticeship!
     
    #12528
    Didley Squat, Feb 2, 2022
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Is that all they'd trust you with
     
    #12529
    kiwiqpr, Feb 2, 2022
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Or is it showing how old you are
     
    #12530
    kiwiqpr, Feb 2, 2022
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  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    Its always important that somebody shows you the drill on your first day.
     
    #12531
    Uber_Hoop, Feb 2, 2022
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  12. QPRski

    QPRski Well-Known Member

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    I have one exactly like that as well. Was my Dad’s and I admit I use it quite often for small jobs. Very simple and efficient.
     
    #12532
    QPRski, Feb 2, 2022
    Didley Squat, Wooperts_duck, Rangers Til I Die and 1 other person like this.
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I heard diddles likes a good drilling
     
    #12533
    kiwiqpr, Feb 2, 2022
    Wooperts_duck, Makemstine Roger, Wherever and 1 other person like this.
  14. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Especially when he has the bit between his teeth
     
    #12534
    Wherever, Feb 2, 2022
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Didles has been drilled more times than Texas
     
    #12535
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 2, 2022
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Didley's alias is Red Adair apparently.
     
    #12536
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 2, 2022
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear. Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
    Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee's wife, Sue, followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?'
    Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did.
    Sue said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you £250.'
    Jim confirmed that he is very interested. Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
    When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left.
    As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'
    With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'Did he give you £250?
    Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did.'
    Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, 'Good. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed £250 from me. He promised he'd stop by this afternoon and pay it back.'
    Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played..
     
    #12537
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 2, 2022
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12538
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 2, 2022
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My hot neighbor wanted to have sex all night long…
    She’s single . . . She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street in the rain and up my driveway.
    She knocked on my door . . . I rushed to open it. She looked at me, and said, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk and have sex all night long! Are you busy tonight?”
    I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free . . . I have no plans at all!”
    Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?”
     
    #12539
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 2, 2022
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12540
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 2, 2022
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