Maybe I was wrong about Jelle Vossen

After the upset today of finding out about Juan Albin and Andreas Ottl opting to sign for alternate clubs and ignoring NUFC I started to seek solace in non-sobriety.

They were two of the players I was certain were the best of the Bosmans!

I've flipped a little since.

I kidnapped Jelle Vossen's dog and his landlady this afternoon, gaffer taping them to the radiator in the cellar and sent him a picture.

I clearly stated that unless he declares publicly his desire to play for NUFC in the next few hours I'd start sending pieces back to him.

The cellar is flooding now after he's received the neck and the core of the radiator and all I have left is the case!

The landlady and dog are now in a little dinghy I picked up from the petrol station floating amongst the flotsam of my life and I'm sure that the costs of the damp are going to be extensive!

Why are modern day footballers like this?

Have they no honour?

He 's not made any statement yet.

I despair yet am partially thankful that this shenanigan I've pulled shows he's clearly not a team player and thus not suitable for the hallowed NUFC dressing room.

These are the small blessings I cling to; much like them in the cellar.

 

Erm... That didn't really happen OT, did it?

You're better than Cwarr mind, at least your transfer speculation is original.

6 out of 10 for this effort

 

I did actually spent a vast amount of time last night mopping up the ground floor of the house when the washing machine came away from the wall due to someone turning up the spin cycle speed to supersonic levels.

No kidnapping though.

 

Oh but apart from that.....

anyway i dont think it wold be unreasonable for you to do that

 

To be honest, after my last altercation with a land lady (£75 for a bloody bin!!); I'd probably kidnap her but I wouldn't take away a dog.

Dogs are special.

 

If this was how all negotiations were conducted, the world would be a far better place.

 

OT don't forget the fecker in my signature........ you've got connections in Brugge mmmm evil plan forming

 

I know a great three star Michelin restaurant and a few good bars in Brugges... Not quite the Colin Farrell type connections I know, but perhaps he's up for a bribe?

 

that's ok we can wine and dine him till he gets overweight ala brolin thus ending his career