A 95 year old man is crying on a park bench. “Sir,” says a concerned Policeman “what’s the matter?” “What’s the matter?” he says. “I went on a dating website after my wife died. This young woman sent me an email. She liked older men. She’s Swedish. We meet. It’s wonderful. She’s beautiful. She takes care of the apartment. She makes me eat gluten-free. I haven’t felt so good in years. My children love her. My grandchildren love her. And the sex..oh my god is great” “Well, that sounds wonderful,” the Policeman says. “So why are you crying?” “I can’t remember where I bloody live!”.
Three tampons travelling down the street . . . . a standard, a super and a light. Which one says hello first ? None . . . . they're all stuck up cnuts !