1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Discussion in 'Horse Racing' started by Ron, Oct 31, 2011.

  1. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    8,263
    Likes Received:
    4,105
    I expect that the teachers will not get a word in anyway with the kids having months of gossip to catch up on
    please log in to view this image
     
    #1461
    karlos5001 likes this.
  2. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    4,415
    Likes Received:
    2,711
    I was really sorry to hear about Meghan’s car crash next month
     
    #1462
    OddDog and karlos5001 like this.
  3. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,577
    Likes Received:
    10,380
    <rofl>
     
    #1463
  4. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    4,415
    Likes Received:
    2,711
  5. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    20,814
    Likes Received:
    4,894
    This did make me chuckle, however, there might be a couple on here who might need therapy after seeing this... <laugh>

    upload_2021-3-9_18-42-48.jpeg
     
    #1465
    OddDog likes this.
  6. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    8,263
    Likes Received:
    4,105
    A fitting cartoon in the Telegraph for Cheltenham Gold Cup day
    please log in to view this image

     
    #1466
  7. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,755
    Likes Received:
    5,276
    Comment from Vic Carpenter:

    "Told Bojo is into Ornithology, he has two Wrens and a Robin nesting in his hair.)
     
    #1467
  8. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,755
    Likes Received:
    5,276
    Frauenkirche can be seen clearly from one of the windows of my daughter and son-in-law's apartment in Munich. So they worked on an old photo to send us this "Happy Easter" greeting. <laugh>

    Screenshot 2021-04-04 113647OsterPhoto.png
     
    #1468
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2021
  9. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    8,263
    Likes Received:
    4,105
  10. rainermariarilke

    rainermariarilke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2011
    Messages:
    564
    Likes Received:
    545
    WHAT HAVE WE BECOME ? A Cautionary Tale for our Times.

    Yesterday, I went for a routine scan in the eye-department of my local NHS Trust hospital. The scan involves resting your chin and forehead at a very precise level and angle in front of a machine, while sitting in a three-wheeled swivel chair. Long story short, while getting into position, one of the wheel-spokes got tangled in the base of the machine-trolley. Nursie (whom I'll call Jan on account of that's her name ) tried to help by pushing my chair, which only made things worse. What follows is verbatim:

    Jan: Can you move your foot to the right ? That's it....now, would you like to get your leg over ?
    Rainer (after brief consideration): would it involve any medium-term commitment ?
    Both: (manly laughter and girlie giggling).

    The session proceeded to its uneventful conclusion. This morning, I get a text from the Hospital Trust, at considerable length, the gist of which is that they have decided not to ban me from their premises, but they (verbatim) "will not tolerate the abuse or sexual harassment of our staff, and you are hereby formally warned as to your future behaviour". The text was apparently initiated by the Deputy Director of Human Resources for the authority concerned.

    Brave New World.
     
    #1470
    SwanHills and Ron like this.

  11. Reebok

    Reebok YTS Mod
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2011
    Messages:
    8,186
    Likes Received:
    2,859
    They have to justify their job I guess, but it's disappointing that after accepting your comment as jovial, it was then considered neccesary to report it. Sad times, glad I'm old.
     
    #1471
  12. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    48,330
    Likes Received:
    15,504
    Maybe rainer isn't telling us everything
     
    #1472
  13. NassauBoard

    NassauBoard Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    13,630
    Likes Received:
    4,658

    Perhaps her manly laughter was hiding that she was uncomfortable with your comments? Or was the DD stood in the corner of the room and you hadn’t noticed?
     
    #1473
  14. CaptainPops

    CaptainPops Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2013
    Messages:
    2,333
    Likes Received:
    1,437
    Unfortunately sign of the times...too many over sensitive/snowflake types in the country these days. Common sense has gone out the window..

    People like to try to find an issue now in what you say - it amounts to attention seeking and making themselves feel important.
     
    #1474
  15. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,755
    Likes Received:
    5,276
    Rainer, sorry I have only just noticed this, but this is a classic. Now, as one of the few experts on here regarding eye tests (to prove it, I only have one good eye after a botched OP for a detached retina - this is the eye responsible for all my 'losers' no doubt! :emoticon-0101-sadsm)

    I can just imagine what you describe happening during one of my routine yearly tests, no nurse in attendance, just my lady doctor who does her best to look attractive with what she's got. Heck, she must have something as a few years ago I was her first patient (after the buggered-up OP) when she returned to the practice after many years raising 4-kids and whatnot. So she has something going for her! However, had what you describe happened to me, and I was witty enough to reply as you did (very very doubtful), I do believe she would have called the police, or at least one of the security 'heavies' in the practice building. I just dread to think of it! <yikes>

    Thanks again, Rainer, my missus and I had a really good laugh with this one, spoilt only by the reply initiated by the Deputy Director of Human Resources; an absolute idiot if ever there was one. :(
     
    #1475
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2021
    Ron likes this.
  16. QuarterMoonII

    QuarterMoonII Economist

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    8,263
    Likes Received:
    4,105
    With the Euro losing value against the Dollar, American auto giant Ford have decided to acquire French auto maker Renault.

    The engineering teams from the two companies have already got together to create the perfect small car for women. Combining parts from the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus, they have come up with the Cli-taurus. It comes in pink, the average male car thief will not be able to find it, let alone turn it on – even if someone tells them where it is and how to do it.

    Word from the factory is that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning. Some have reported that on cold winter mornings when you really need it, you cannot even get it to turn over.

    New models are initially fun to own but they are costly to maintain and getting rid of them can be horribly expensive. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price but they eventually have an increased appetite for fuel; and the curb weight typically increases exponentially with age.

    They are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases but say that the paint on the boot may just make it look bigger.

    This model is not expected to make collector status; and most owners might find it best to lease one and replace it as needed.
     
    #1476
    morky, Reebok, Guywanderer and 2 others like this.
  17. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    20,814
    Likes Received:
    4,894
  18. redcgull

    redcgull Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    7,522
    Likes Received:
    1,874
    Didn't know where to put this but one of, if not both of em will be smiling come the end of the day...!!!

    Bill and Melinda Gates divorce after 27 years of marriage

    Estimated to have a personal wealth of $124bn, or £89bn in our language, the 65 year old Bill is 'un-coupling' from his wife of 27 years, Melinda, 56, after admitting that 'we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in the next phase of our lives.'

    Now this means to me that he wants to get down to the pub asap when all this Covid crap ends and she's putting her foot down...<laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #1478
    OddDog and karlos5001 like this.
  19. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,577
    Likes Received:
    10,380
    In all reality he's probably bored with her and reckons with that fortune he can pick up something more exotic <doh>
     
    #1479
  20. Ste D

    Ste D Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2011
    Messages:
    5,691
    Likes Received:
    2,839
    Imagine waking up to this beast walking around your bedroom
     
    #1480

Share This Page