Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Spoiler: Rude joke

My wife banged on the toilet door & said "Hurry up I need a ****"

.

"**** off," I shouted "I'm trying to have a **** in here"

.

"So that's more important than diarrhoea" she screamed.

.

I yelled through the door " I'm just about to come for **** sake, just wait a few moments will you"

.

What an impatient, big mouthed gobshite she is.

.

God knows what everyone on the plane must have thought.

.

 

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

 

I just found out a well-known eighties synth-pop band are reforming and doing a reunion tour.

I'm like O M D!

 

My wife left a note on the fridge saying: “This isn’t working. I’m leaving.”

“What a lie! I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine.”

 

Corrie had it spot on tonight.

You don't get it, unless you've lived it.

 

I thought it was brilliant.
I have always abhorred bullying of any kind, and the script, and the manner in which it was delivered, was outstanding. Very emotional.
I had previously read that this storyline was written with the input and advice of Baroness Lawrence of Clarendon, the mother of murdered Stephen Lawrence.
Hopefully it will help to spread the message to those that still haven’t got it.

 

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe

 

You have a PM

 

Just catching up on Harry's Heroes. I am pleasantly surprised on how nice all the players are that I used to dislike.

Shows we shouldn't be hard on today's crop, as they are just kids after all.

Edit: Except for David Seaman - nice bloke but actually my daughter's godfather, and not seen her for 29 years (long story)

 

mmm don’t be sucked in bro - it’s low bar sh1t tv and they’re a bit embarrassing in the majority. I watched 30 minutes of two episodes. I tried. I cringed when they were in France.

 

Hey, I'm not a govt advisor, I have nothing else to do but watch TV....

 

This is why mum wouldn’t let you have a tv in your room.

 

Isn't it all related to mental health? That's why I thought it was being shown during MH week.

 

Ah maybe. I hadn’t thought about that, in which case fair enough. The more exposure and discussions on that the better.

 

This might give you a laugh. Sound on

 

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?

Because they can't undo the wrappers.