Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

And that would be cracking.

 

Chilcs can you pullet this thread.....put a capon it?

 

Cluck off.

 

Lol just realised that I may be the first person to ever derail the off topic thread

 

There are too many layers, it’s all gone to cock.

 

Shocking news about Salman Rushdie. I haven’t seen the latest but I really hope religious intolerance hasn’t finally stolen him from us.

 

On a ventilator and unable to speak
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62528689

 

A warm night. Thank goodness for air conditioning.

 

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred
young ‘pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup
pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached
them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by
just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but
this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy
chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters
coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it
couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the
next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City
Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result
was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize,"
but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting
populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, you can't always hear the
bells.

If you don’t send this on, you’re chicken.

 

A few record temperatures here on the Costa Blanca yesterday.


Well......They got the forecast pretty much spot on! Asfixiating temperatures, accompanied by blisting hot desert winds with a bit of "Calima" thrown in for good measure! Maximum temperatures registered at official weather stations were as follows. Elche: 42.8
Alicante: 42.0 (récord absoluto) Alicante airport: 41.9 (segundo registro absoluto, por detrás de los 42,4 ºC del pasado 25 de julio)
Orihuela: 41.5
Torrevieja: 41,4 (récord absoluto)
Rojales: 41.5
Xàbia: 40.8 (récord absoluto)
Benidorm: 40.0
Novelda: 39.6

 

****ing cats.

Is it time to end cats’ right to roam? (msn.com)

 

Is illegal, unless you're also a cat.

 

All these chicken jokes have to stop.

An oeuf is an oeuf.

 

My son asked me what procrastinate means.

I said: “I’ll tell you later.”

 

My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.

Our dates can be summarised as follows: dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner. dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner Batman.

 

My wife told me that sex is so much better when on holiday.
That wasn't a nice postcard to receive.

 

41 is no age……RIP

 

A year ago today we lost the inimitable Sean Lock