Dear Grove Junior, Just a quick note to say what a wonderful camping weekend we all had thanks in no small part to all your dear Papa's efforts. His talents know no bounds! I over-heard him tell Dolores to "open up her flaps and get that pole up", strange as by then all the tents were erected. He was even prepared to offer one-to-one camping instruction as Celina told me he'd asked her to come to his tent later in the evening and he'd show her his pegging technique. Fire building is certainly one of your Papa's specialties and he got us girls to use sticks to light the fire and commented that he liked to see a girl who could handle wood. We all had to take turns fanning the flames to start the fire and as instructed we knelt down to blow on the base of the fire as your Papa walked around the back of us and adjusting our posture so that our backs were arched as apparently it looks better that way. He must have been pleased as I heard him say we'd soon be experts at blow jobs. I never knew there was a career in fire building! To help us get our Wilderness badges next year your Papa offered to take some of the troop off into the woods, I think he intends to go on a rather long hike as he mentioned something about going to a place where nobody would hear us scream. Wilderness indeed! Please thank your Papa for removing the splinter from my foot, it was so kind of him to help me out of my leggings and remove the thorn and who knew that you were meant to have a foot massage afterwards. He insisted on putting my foot in his lap, which was rather lumpy as I recall, and he certainly put a lot of effort into it and got quite a sweat on towards the end. Such a gentleman! Ciao for now!
Just forwarded that to BBC3's comedy writing team, they'll be in touch asap Going forwards could you just email your comedy attempts straight to them rather than posting on here? Ta, Toby x
Have a go Tobes, try it for yourself and see how it works out for you. Instead of coming on here and saying everyone is a cnut and their posts are ****e and they should all kill themselves why not use your planet sized intellect to do something original. Oh, I know why, anything you try to do falls flat on its face, you couldn't come up with an original idea if your feeble excuse for a life depended on it. Going forward why not invest your massive bank balance, you know the one you must have because you are in such an important and highly paid I.T. job and have saved bundles not having to pay off a mortgage whilst sleeping in squats, get all that lovely cash together and try buying yourself a personality. You banal, soulless dullard.
