Match Day Thread Cardiff vs Saints, Sat 20th April, 15:00

Okay, okay you lot. I'm going to be late to my meeting now, but needs must when the devil drives.

Welcome to the match thread, and the Lemon Laces March to perpetual victory, for the next "most important game of the season" - it's...


vs

Cardiff is of course, in Wales, so today we'll be looking, by way of education, at the top five Wales.

1. The wail by Lulu at the start of the seminal pop tune, Shout. Not dissimilar to the noise from Flynn Downes mouth when he scored in the 99th minute against whingy What Ford.

2. Irvine Welsh - enfant terrible of the literary scene, best known for his utter Scottishness, much like our own Russell Martin. The most Scottish man in history.

3. The Outlaw Josey Wales - famously played in the film of the same name by Clint Eastwood. If there was a Clint Eastwood in our team, it would be Stuart Armstrong. It wouldn't be Jack Stephens unless Russ was directing it. Then it would. Definitely.

4. William Windsor Wales - tall bald bloke, slowly making his way toward his target. So, basically, Will Smallbone.

5. Blue Whales - the largest mammal in the world, other than Che's thighs.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

In terms of the game, well, it's another must-win special. It would be so very disappointing to slip up on this one, and make Tuesday's mega-balls-out game a bit of a nothing fart. Fortunately Lemon Laces is here to guide us through, and hopefully we haven't upset the thread gods too much with a slightly late addition. I've spoken to the boss up there, Thread Astaire and he's assured me we can dance to our own tune on that one.

Will Russell continue with playing players in their given positions, use the defence that gave us a 26 game unbeaten streak, and have a very capable DM on the bench?

Of course not. Leaks have suggested that Russell 'Scotland Till I Die' Martin has asked Jack Stephens to bring his fluorescent top and gloves along on the bus, but we haven't as yet had that confirmed.

Cardiff have got even less to play for than Preston did, so hopefully they'll be on the beach and even worse than PNE were.

Referee will be a bloke from the pub.

Please, please, please Saints, don't drop the ball, McCarthy style, now...I want that mega-match on Tuesday...

 

Referee will be a bloke from the pub.

Still waiting for the Official list from EFL.

 

Cardiff City FC (First Team) v Southampton FC (First Team)
Football League Championship
Referee: Langford, Oliver
Assistant Referee: Karaivanov, Hristo
Assistant Referee: Taylor, Craig
Fourth Official: Martin, Stephen

 

Refereed our last visit to Wales, a 3-1 win over Swansea. Also refereed our 1-0 win away at QPR. Most recently saw him for our 2-1 home loss to Hull.

 

Massive game and another big test of our mentality and focus. Can we carry the momentum of the home wins into an away game? Can we fully focus on this game before us and not the looming Leicester match that quickly follows. Everyone expects us to beat Cardiff but we have to turn up and do the job otherwise the Leicester game doesn't hold the same gravitas anyway.

 

I'm just in awe whenever I see one. So incredibly powerful, and yet elegant. Majestic, and yet humble. We humans are lucky to share our planet with them.









And I quite like Blue Whales too.

 

Epic Threadmanship as ever

Meeting, Schmeeting, rarely if ever does anything important happen in a meeting
I'm sure if you explain, they'll understand

Same starting lineup please, Russ

BTW ... someone recently said we've only been scoring messy goals, and lo, we start scoring goals of great aestheticalistic beauty

 

So, The Millennium Falcon is up and running again, with Le Tissier's Laces reprising his Han Solo character (stop sniggering at the back) and me as Chewbacca. Apart from not being hairy above the neck. Russ Obi Wan Kenobi Martin will undoubtedly be using the force in order to attack the Death Star that is Cardiff City Stadium. Once Che Skywalker Adams works out which way round to hold his Light Sabre, he will find the weak link in Cardiff's defences, allowing the rest of the Good Guys, aka Saints, to overcome the offside trap and score at will. Even Smallbone.
If Darth Vader dares to show his face, he will be unmasked as Dave Prowse the Green Cross Code man, and be forced to say 'Luke, I am your father' in a West Country accent. Even though Darth Vader never said that line. And Dave Prowse is no longer with us.
Anyway, despite several doubters on this board (you know who you are) suggesting that this Lemons Laces thread is a tad late, it's not how you start, it's how you finish, and we'll still be here, victorious, after 90 minutes, plus added time, plus anything else that the Cambrian Empire throws at us. Prediction? Well, after nailing it v PNE with my 3-0 prediction, I'm going double or quits and confidently predicting another 3-0.

 

Spidey, you appear to have exceeded your syllable quota with "aestheticalistic". Wouldn't "aesthetical" convey the same meaning? I refer you to that well-known acronym KISS (Keep It Simple Spidey)

 

5-0 Saints. After 20 mins.















5-5 FT

 

One thing that will allay any fears from us fans, and will also give the team a big lift is that Leicester are playing WBA at 12:30 on Saturday. So, before we kick off against Cardiff, we'll already be aware that Leicester have failed again. 1-0 to WBA, with a hotly disputed goal, combined with a dodgy offside decision against Steptoe, sorry, Vardy.

 

Always been a Baggies fan so let’s all join the party for them on Saturday!!!!

 

Can you imagine if the Baggies beat Leicester and we beat Cardiff.

Actually, lets. All of us imagine it and believe it. Put it out to the Universe!

 

Here it is, immediate return to the prem plus any other problems listed but not limited to those below. PM me your needs with an appropriate donation and the discreet Mr Madiba will get to work. Act immediately so the current powerful heavenly alignments can be utilised to your best advantage.

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Maybe one of the WBA CB’s could accidentally tread on one of Steptoe’s feet and put him out for the rest of the season. Oh, and maybe Mavididi and Dewsbury-Hall too.

 

Add your wishes to the list then PM me with it and your donation and Mr Madiba will get to work.

 

Not going to lie, I'm ****ting big purple bricks on this one. This is important. Mega mega important. Birth of first child important.

It would be typical Saints to lose/draw this, and like others have said I'm praying Cardiff are already on the beach and couldn't give less of a **** about trying. Do they hate Leeds enough to give us a pass? Are they annoyed that Leicester and Ipswich play in blue as well? Have we pissed them off any time in the last two decades that they'll want to get one over on us? Can Russell and the lads pull it out of the bag? Will the Nigerian Zidane dominate midfield? Will the Adam and Che dream team smash some in? **** knows.

All I know is that I'm stressed, worried and concerned. Please give me nothing to moan about at 1700 on Sat. I'm on nights as it is

 

We have done OK in visits to Wales over the years.

 

But would you be real happy to have nothing to moan about?. After a lifetime of moaning, your raisin d’etre is to be a miserable old git. I know I wouldn’t be.

 

I would be inclined to punch him, my Dad told me to always strike a happy medium...