Holy Christ

there's a girl in my gym that's the closest thing I've seen to Rachel Riley so far in my quest.

I'm going to stack up on some test and primobolin and get my myself looking fantastic then I'm going to throw myself at her

 

?

 

You might want to spend more time working on your pulling techniques and less on your muscular definition.

 

Ha ha

I find it best to just go for it personally a true silverback would do the same and that's what a woman really wants even if they don't know it

 

It's called pussy mate

It has a funny effect on my brain and my behaviour

 

How about this for a chat up line. "You look just like Rachel Riley. If you give me your phone nimber I bet I can end up at 69" You can thank me later.

 

I think he's just going with his favourite line of "Do you mind if I call you Rachel while I destroy your hoop?"
Works every time. Apparently.

 

There's one who comes in my gym, who is ridiculous but she knows it. You see the lads around her sticking extra plates on like they're peacocking the dumb slut, I'm stood there in my bare feet looking like a sweaty mess doing calisthenics. I know she's seen me training with my wife, so I've got to be more covert with the pervs. She asked me to show her the Turkish Get Up a while back, I felt like proposing to her on the spot.

 

I'll let you know how this goes tomorrow morning I'll actually do it

 

Hey Rachel look I made a 9 letter word.... OMINATOR... you can have the D later.

 

I was thinking

Hey you look like Rachel Riley how about I **** your until you get your sums all wrong

 

And if it doesn't work, like for any unfathomable reason she doesn't fall for that one, you can just say "Oh sorry I thought you were somebody else".

 

I have a feeling she'll tut at me but over the course of the day she'll think it's a great idea

 

Just wander across and politely ask her if she takes it up the trumpet. That's normally a good ice breaker.

 

I don't know about that one mate I can't see that going well

 

But if she says "yes"...

 

Yep - because all those other options are guaranteed, sure fire winners

 

How about rimming ?

 

I think I can get somewhere with jakaratass in all honesty if I get it right and make her laugh that is

 

Look man I like you, but not in that way.