Premier League

A bit like the woman you've had your eye on for ages and you finally get to go out with her, only to find out very quickly she really isn't as good as you'd imagined.....

People told you she was out of your league (and she still is) but you don't care, you're much happier without her now.....

Then you go back for a cheeky fling, despite your better judgement, and find out (again) that you are much better off without her......

 

What about the dosh does she give you loads of it while your with her

 

Yes but you have to spend it on fine dining, most of which gives you food poisioning.

You only get some every couple of months.

 

I see !!!!
Is this speaking from experience

 

Now we have to settle for her ugly sister.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....

 

Dannii Minougue's not too bad...

 

Every club from the Championship down would swop places with us tomorrow for that one chance to remain in the Premier League.

 

Too bloody right.

 

Upon having a beautiful woman pointed out by his playing partners, Lee Trevino simply said,
"Somebody, somewhere, is already bored of her".

 

I would prefer the club stays up...... just an analogy

 

Que sera sera

 

Then you change you change your mind again and you want to go back to her because she was just so ****ing rude. But you find it's not possible because she's found herself another lover who has more money than you.

Much more money...

 

But she's given you aids

 

A bit like the flash car you always dreamed of. Saved up for years but still had to borrow cash you couldn't afford when there was a deal you just couldn't turn down.
First few months of sunny days on open roads become a distant memory when you realise it's not really up to driving on snow and ice, and breaks down when you least expect. Replacement parts at this time of year are ridiculously overpriced and too late you realise the second hand parts dealer has sold you a worn out and patched up gearbox and your petrol tank needs strange additives to help the fuel injection.
You eventually sell the car to avoid any more unreliable journeys and go back to your trusty and economical runaround, but deep down yearn for another trip to the Ferrari shop.

 

And, err, I love football. Football is, is, she's a cruel mistress. She's, she's more than a mistress. She's a wife, she's a mother, she's a daughter, she's and errant child. She's a… she's a… she can make you laugh, she make you cry. She can bring tears me eyes. She can bring blood to me shoulders. She can bring -

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CA: Yes, bring the kettle to the boil.

AL: She can bring the kettle to the boil. 'Cause football is about nothing, unless it's about something and what it is about -

CA: Yes, yes.

AL: Is football. Excuse me.

 

Its like that ugly tart at school that you all avoided like the plague and instead stalked the school princess, Miss Popular. Then the ugly tart lost a bit of weight, matured like a good wine and turned into a right stunner, you were all suddenly queuing around the block for a date with her, ditching Miss Popular who had become a bit boring.
Then dating the ugly duckling turned beautiful swan became a bit expensive and the novelty wore off a bit and you suddenly get the hots for Miss Popular again who you could adore from afar without it costing you a bean but it felt good to be associated with her again.
Morale of the story being you are a load of phoney ****s who are shallow as a bird bath.

 

Its like cowardice isnt it. Championship here we come, oooh we enjoyed it better there, real fans etc etc. Lets be ironic about it and pretend we dont care about it we are "real" football fans.

**** that. We are Hull City and we belong in the PL.

 

I really did enjoy it more in the other leagues

 

I have enjoyed the football in all the leagues. It is all the off field bollocks that I have hated. At least if we go down hopefully all that bollocks will disappear.