Off Topic Qatar - FIFA stitch up continues

But it's the ****ing desert though! If we have one there, we have to hold one in the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, followed by a reduced-gravity caper on the moon. After all, there are just as many football fans in those locations as there are in Qatar, and they're just as easy for the actual supporters to get to (And defo more chance of getting a beer ).

Qatar, whatever way you look at it, was a ****ing ridiculous choice.

 

Except...

 

2018 - Belgium/Holland. England. Russia. Portugal/Spain.

2022 - Australia. Japan. Qatar. South Korea. USA.


In an open and fair bidding process, it's a pure coincidence that vast amounts of oil can be found in both winning countries. Weird or what. 2026 World Cup should be held off the coast of Norway.

 

Just a lucky coincidence.

Fecking dodgy bastards.

 

We do alright in the swimming at the Olympics, so I'm ok with Atlantis. Might make the quarters.

You need to be more open minded like me

 

Tend to agree.

If somewhere seriously hot had won the bid on any defensible basis, then we northern europeans may just have had to get on with it and stop moaning.

It's ****ing everything up in the name of a ludicrously corrupt process that gets up your nose.

 

Yeah, but we're all sitting here, all the way up to Greg Dyke, saying "FIFA are corrupt". It's no different to everyone knowing banks are corrupt, billionaires dodge taxes, and so on. We say it, we know it, nothing happens. The latter point, for me, is where it's so utterly, utterly fcked up.

 

I am surprised that none of the losing bidders have taken FIFA to court. The bidding said nothing about a winter tournament and therefore awarded under false pretenses. ( But the palms had already been greased )

 

Don't forget about the gas!

I'm therefore fairly sure the 2026 World Cup will be in either Iran or Venezuela. I reckon Iran because Venezuela is constant mess despite an abundance of natural resources. Iran would be an interesting place to hold a WC. Then again those Chinese chaps can't be far away from buying their first World Cup. Yeah come to think of it, it'll definitely be China.

 

It's America, mate. Didn't you read that FIFA have randomly given the broadcast rights for 2026 to Fox? No explanation, no bid, just given to a US company. Blatter's really trying to get his pockets well and truly filled before he fcks off. Old cnt needs the cash.

 

This would be absolutely tremendous. Given it was only there in 94, I'd love to see the reasoning for that. "We're taking it to new places"

Maybe they can tag on a game in Canada just to make it fresh. I'm sure the Canadians would love to team up with their big buddy neighbours the yanks. Robin to their Batman so to speak...

 

Scotland? At least we'll get to see the McDonalds Deep Fried Mars bar stands and the Coca Iron Bru franchises for once.

 

Tell you what, the January transfer window immediately after should be interesting...

 

Yes, could be lots of big moves after that one.

Good point! We should secure Sammy on a bumper, long-term contract now, so he doesn't go on the cheap after securing the World Cup.

 

I see Blatter has decide to seize the moment on the corruption front. He is such a sneaky slimeball. Noticing the bitterness building about the timing of the final, and his possible own re-election., he has played his swiss diplomacy card. So he won't allow a final that late, hoping to curry favour from all sides, I think he is missing the point.

 

Breaking news: Fifa say Hell will host 2026 World Cup
Fifa dismiss concerns over soaring temperatures and lack of football culture in Hell as bid leader Lucifer pays tribute to 'role model' Sepp Blatter
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Hands up: Fifa, under its president Sepp Blatter, has cleared Qatar and Russia of corruption claims Photo: AFP

Hell will host the 2026 football World Cup after a Fifa report found “no reason” to overturn the controversial underworld destination’s successful bid.
A 666-page report seen by The Telegraph concluded that Fifa had acted ethically in awarding its showpiece tournament, and suggested Lucifer be compensated with “a really nice wristwatch, one with diamonds and everything” for having been put through an “unnecessary and upsetting” grilling.
Critics had cited the soaring temperatures of fiery damnation as a major concern for a summer sporting event, and accused the damned hordes of carrying out human rights abuses. But during a “fact-finding mission”, Fifa executive committee members found Hell to be a “first-rate facility”. “I could spend an eternity here,” noted one delegate.
Fifa was particularly impressed by “Hell’s well-organised system of circles where fans can listen to vuvuzelas” and watch England take on Germany in a penalty shoot-out until the end of time. One exclusive circle will even offer comfortable spike-style seating and a chance to enjoy the Fifa biopic United Passions (starring Tim Roth as Sepp Blatter) on a loop. ITV has won the sole broadcast rights in the UK, with Andy Townsend providing analysis.
Independent research had suggested that one of principal reasons Hell was considered unsuitable was its lack of a developed football culture. In a survey of Hell residents, for example, football ranked below “teeth, gnashing of” as a pastime; but the 2026 tournament is regarded by Fifa as “the ideal opportunity to take football into new markets”.

The leaked report explained: “We examined the bids from countries in the mortal plane and found none of them could match Hell, which promised exciting commercial opportunities for soul-selling and an expanded opening ceremony where fans will be repeatedly poked with hot forks by unimaginably evil goblins, and/or enjoy a reprise of the 2014 Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull extravaganza.” The final is due to be played before a capacity crowd in Pandaemonium.
The head of Hell’s delegation, who was treated last month to a gala reception at which guests dined with especially commissioned extra-long spoons, had previously been cleared of any wrongdoing by Fifa’s ethics committee. Lucifer, Fifa insisted, was “an individual of the highest moral character and an example to the rest of the Football Family”. Though Fifa did admit that there was some evidence of bribery, it put this down to “a few isolated minions” and stressed these were instances of “venial rather than mortal bribery”.
Indeed, Lucifer, who has asserted control over the nascent Infernal Football Federation, is now regarded as a Blatter protégé and a leading candidate to take over from the Fifa president, should he ever wish to step down.
“Sepp Blatter has been a wonderful role model,” confirmed Lucifer. “But he still has so much to teach me before I can make the step up from running Hell to being the Dark Lord of an organisation as demonic and demented as Fifa. He is a constant inspiration.”
The report concluded with a damning indictment of England’s behaviour in the bidding process, described as “sinful”. Wembley, it stated, would be considered as an alternative Final stadium “only in the event of Hell freezing over”.

 

First class Darlo!

If this is your own work then you deserve a promotion sir.
If it's a cut 'n paste plagiarism, then you will be assigned to photocopying duty for all eternity.

 

Cut and paste plagiarism has a place in today's society.

Anti-plagiarismist