Match Day Thread THE MIGHTY TOON THREAD OF MAN TEARS AND VICTORY. also chelsea.

Back by nefarious and democratic consensus, is another completely objective and utterly neutral addition of the Match Day Thread. Another dose of impartiality and enough nauseating reasonableness to make Nev gag was what you demanded, and by God(/gods/spaghetti monster/magical cow/ooooooooo the all powerful sun, bathe in it's fiery glow! (aka astronomy)/tiny dildo totem(tiny dildo totem iconoclasts do not preach your amusement here)/ nothingness. You die and that's it. Get used to it), that's what you superstitious freaks will get (praise be to Bri's tiny dildo in hopes of a glorious (I mean errrr impassive/inscrutable) win for us... I mean, the entity known as Newcastle United).

Last Time Out:
In the last match, the entity known as Newcastle United brutally overloaded and tore apart the Tesco Baggies, like a hearty lasagne and a couple of packs of tampax (Trev told me. True story). MOTM, as voted by one typically reserved, intellectual and thoroughly neutral observer, was everyone in black and white. EVERYONE (not Mitrovic).

This Weekend's Opponents:
Named after Made in Chelsea, Chelsea City (or London FC for Sports gamers and lonely masturbaters) were formed in 2011 as a third season spin-off to the original gratuitous comedy. Unfortunately, following the incomprehensible gargling "dialogue" of these horse-faced posho RARs while playing sport (even with subtitles), was akin to the confusion of doing an anatomical search on Binky and finding her bellybutton vagina was contrary to anything you had come across in those high school biology lessons. In addition to this, the fact Spencer and his pig fondling friends were restricted to humping everything that moved with their two-inch clubbed cock during set-plays, half the viewership was already lost.
However, a Romanian millionaire named Mr Abumtoitch decided to buy and resurrect the series and so replaced the entire cast with some expensively acquired footballers and Joseph Terry. Channel 4 immediately dropped the show, not wanting to be connected to Racism or bigoted views, so put all their efforts into Big Brother instead.........
Over one league and cup trophy later, and the name "Chelsea City" is known up and down the Londonish area, and a bit round Brighton.

Likely Line-Up:
---------------------Courthearing--------------

--Ivanaitch----Joseph Terry---Cahill---AzipilIgiveup
William---Michael-------Britishgas-Thankyoubutton
--------------------A Brazilian----------------------
-----------------------------Costa(for the sake of neutrality, other coffee shops are available)

Prediction:
I have thought about this long and hard, with my obviously unbiased eye. As I see it, the more expressive elements of Hiddinks reign as compared with Mourinho's have allowed the likes of Costa and Fabregas to show more of the quality they posses, while retaining the combative and defensive qualities of the previous coach. They look like they are enjoying football again, which has coincided with an upturn of results.
They are still there to be got at, with time ravaging half their defence, and others seeming unprepared for the position they find themselves in, but our defensive frailties are all too obvious. I expect a tight game in midfield, but Chelsea will counter effectively and torture gaps left by Janmaat, or Aarons if he plays.


Overall, ergo, I am saying 25-0 to the entity known as Newcastle United. EASY EASY EASY!

 

3-1 chelsea

 

Toon to win 1-3



Mr positive/deluded is in the hoose...!

 

What has the world come to when people are that keen to do a match thread they reserve it in advance. However as it stands it is much better than ACS' efforts.

 

The most annoying chelsea fan in the world works in my office.

On that basis no matter what chelsea will destroy us and next Monday will be made even more bleak

 

4-0 Chelsea win.

 

Plenty of omega 3 recently by any chance?

 

I think this might be an Epic game, lots of goals,its a big loss for chelsea with Zouma having that awful injury. I`m going for 3-3.

 

Thanks

Ill go 0-0 and bet high

 

Chelski simply have too much quality in every department and will brush us aside with a 2 - 0 victory.

We squeaked past a WBA team that needed pens to beat a League 1 team last night.
It was a useful 3 points but there will be none from this fixture.

<selfrighteous>

 

Indeed supplements and plenty of fish. Great leaning food and keeps the brain strong.

 

Ive just eaten some oats and lentils raw

 

Manly

 

I ate some beef raw the other night. Steak Tartar.
Felt really liberating, carniverous and manly.

 

updated the thread. Feast on stats! 60% of the time, my stats blow everyone out of the water every time

 

Small side note, this is a match day thread, please restrict all talk of AJ's paedo/pervert/Tash fandom ways, and how bad it makes the entire Sunderland fan base look (really really bad like), to a few jibes, jokes and hilarious limericks.

Anything more substantial than that will be viewed very dimly (not by me) and is to be discouraged (I discourage this discouragement and all subsequent discouragings).

 

Only one criticism. Given our penchant for beating teams with the prefix "West", please can the oppo be changed to West London City like Pro Evo.

 

Reading this thread I thought about reminiscing about Chippy's match day threads...



then I thought, no, Chippy's threads were never as good as this and so didn't bother.

 

seemingly Costa has broken his nose in training, and if he plays will be wearing a mask
now if I was McLaren, I would be saying the mask, marks the spot

 

It's ****ing match boys And girls (and JPF).
Gan canny.
Hope we get 3 points.