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Off Topic The More Intellectual Gag Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017.

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  1. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    maths-jokes-pi-102.jpg
     
    #1
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  2. Wildie

    Wildie Well-Known Member

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    Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Dopey
     
    #2
    Wildie, May 9, 2017
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  3. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    binary.png
     
    #3
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  4. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    light sound speed.png
     
    #4
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  5. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    bond h bond.jpg
     
    #5
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  6. thefullback

    thefullback Active Member

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    Chinese proverb " man who go to bed with sex problem wakes up with solution on chest "
     
    #6
    thefullback, May 9, 2017
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  7. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    OMg.jpg
     
    #7
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  8. Evington

    Evington Well-Known Member

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    This will run :emoticon-0126-nerd:
     
    #8
    Evington, May 9, 2017
  9. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    When Plato first met Socrates,

    Plato: "Why don't you ever have a girlfriend?"

    Socrates: "You ask too many questions."
     
    #9
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  10. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
    Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
    Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"
     
    #10
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  11. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Two freshman philosophy students see the following bulletin posted on the wall of their lecture hall:


    Crash Course in Logical Assumptions
    Saturday, September 26, 1998, All Day

    Neither of them knows what it means and they are both curious. The pair decide to find the professor and ask some questions. When they locate the professor's office, the bolder of the two enter the building while the other remains outside.
    Student: "Uh...Sir..What does Crash Course in Logical Assumptions mean?"
    Professor: "Well, it involves taking information that you have, forming assumptions using logic, and then creating new information. Let me try to answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a car?"
    Student: "Uh...Yes, I do."

    Professor: "Well, then I can now logically assume that you drive."
    Student: "Yes, I drive. "

    Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you drive on weekends."
    Student: "Yeah, I drive on weekends, I go out on dates."

    Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you have date partners."
    Student: "Well, yes, I have a girlfriend."

    Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you are heterosexual."
    Student: "Uh...hell yes! OK, I think I understand what this course is about now. Thanks a lot for your time."

    Once back outside, his friend asks him: "So, what's it all about?"
    "Its about using information and stuff...Let me answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a car?"
    "No."
    "Uh...Then you're homosexual, dude!"
     
    #11
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  12. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    kant.jpg

    Londoners have to be carefully reading that one out loud.
     
    #12
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  13. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    abbrev.jpg
     
    #13
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  14. Wildie

    Wildie Well-Known Member

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    Bored now.
     
    #14
    Wildie, May 9, 2017
  15. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for trying
     
    #15
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  16. Jimmy Graham's bald head

    Jimmy Graham's bald head Well-Known Member

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    Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
     
    #16
    Jimmy Graham's bald head, May 9, 2017
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  17. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    merc benzene.jpg
     
    #17
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  18. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    paranormal-distribution.jpg
     
    #18
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
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  19. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Also
    Statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy
     
    #19
    Mr Hatem, May 9, 2017
  20. bum_chinned_crab

    bum_chinned_crab Well-Known Member

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    Why is there only one Monopolies Commision?
     
    #20
    bum_chinned_crab, May 9, 2017
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