wrote a letter to mike ashley

i pretended to be a newcastle fan and asked if i could get some adidas trainers for half price on sportsdirect. he said thatd be no problem at all and that hes going to put what i paid into newcastles transfer budget. ive done you a favour lads. you now have 30 pounds to spend in the next transfer window

 

I'm genuinely surprised you wrote that letter. Did you do it in crayon?
I'm equally surprised you paid for them rather than just pinch them like normal.

 

That'll be some more of that Hilarious score wit we've heard about.