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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Irishshako

    Irishshako Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> good to hear Eric<ok>
     
    #401
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  2. milkyboy

    milkyboy Well-Known Member

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    washed down with a pint of domestos to keep corona at bay
     
    #402
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  3. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    A Liverpool girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.

    The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take that red one."

    The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."
     
    #403
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  4. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant <laugh>
     
    #404
  5. Ringo Lion

    Ringo Lion Pumpkin

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    I applied to be a sperm donor, the nurse asked if i could w**k in the cup

    I told her i'm pretty good but I don't think i'm ready to compete in a tournament yet.
     
    #405
  6. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Had a similar experience. Apparently she wasn't referring to her bra when she was talking about the cup.

    Should be out again in a few months, with good behaviour ....
     
    #406
  7. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    I hear that poor old misunderstood Saiz feels he'd fit in better in China .....

     
    #407
  8. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    Think he’d be out of his depth there. They’re clearly pros at it
     
    #408
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  9. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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  10. Eric Le Merde

    Eric Le Merde Well-Known Member

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    Oddly enough I had the same problem with the new mattress I bought!!!

    sleep-better-01-mattress.jpg
     
    #410
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  11. JonnyLosAngeles

    JonnyLosAngeles Well-Known Member

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    You couldn’t cook your new mattress?
     
    #411
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  12. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #412
  13. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #413
  14. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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  15. davy

    davy Well-Known Member

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    Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off the boat?































    Because if they fell forward they’d still be in the boat.
     
    #415
  16. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    He put her in the freezer
     
    #416
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  17. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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  18. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #418
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  19. Eireleeds1

    Eireleeds1 Well-Known Member

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    Breaking news
    Due to the financial problems
    Surrounding a lot of football
    Clubs at the moment Manchester United
    Have had to release 25 members
    Of staff from their payroll
    The 15 referees and 10 linesman are said to be
    Devastated
     
    #419
  20. Irishshako

    Irishshako Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #420

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