The police knocked at the door late last night, and said. "Where were you at 20.05 tonight?" I replied, "Well, as it happens, at 8pm I took the missus to the bedroom, for a bit of you know what." The missus shouted from the kitchen "yeah that's right . . . . but **** knows where he was at 5 past !"
Paddy is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my vagina?" "Yes, I'm sorry," Paddy replies and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite all right," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the vagina blows him a kiss. Paddy, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder vagina can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Paddy stares in amazement as the vagina winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Paddy moves over and she smiles and asks,"Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Paddy replies, "You’re kidding—you mean it can whistle, too?”