Alas, I'm not going to get close as I'm disqualified. It was a 7:30 kick-off. I thought it was 7:45. Raging. Absolutely raging. I bet my guess is spot on. I don't even know if I can be bothered to listen (Radio Scotland) to the game now. What's the point? Woe is me.
I'm listening on the radio, Rep - can't get a strong enough internet connection in the kitchen to watch moving pictures - and I've counted about 38 people shouting out so far. I'm actually starting to feel that I'm getting to know some of these guys personally.
Thank Christ for the half time whistle, don't think I can suffer another 45 mins of this. Should've stayed in the pub to watch it.?
Stop watching. Do yourself a favour. I can barely listen to the thing, it's crushing me. The commentators sound bereft. The air of hopelessness is seeping into my kitchen from Pittodrie and breaking my heart. We need a player to die on the pitch - anything to lift the gloom.
Commentator is saying that he’s searching his mind to think of a more dismal game he’s seen this season and that nothing comes close. Willie Miller says, however, that if you like your football “meaty” then....I gave up listening. I’ve had to switch it off for ten minutes. We could be watching Real Madrid v Barthelona, you know. (If we were gay.) (Nice try, MD. But you're way too late, sorry about that old bean.)
2 options ---- head for the bridge & jump or head for the bridge bar & get pissed, second op feels right.
Ten minutes later....and we're 1-0 down with roughly 0 minutes to go. And the attendance: 6394 I think I might boo at my radio once this is over.
Ach. I couldn't boo at my radio. Even when alone with no one watching and no possible way that anyone might hear, the thought of doing so humiliated me. Well, that's that. We're doomed.
Toiler and Fabulous Fabio are the big winners tonight, moving up to 7th and 4th, respectively. I'm sure that everyone who has been making predictions on a regular basis throughout the season will wish these two latecomers all the best. I know I do. The updated Attendance Prediction League table: 1) Eric Cartman...................78 2) Johnny Rep……………………..109 3) Pud..............................114 4) Fabulous Fabio………………..272 5) Surreal Dance................383 6) Psychosomatic...............424 7) Toiler……………………………….449 8) MD 20/20......................571 9) Sunlini…………………………....618 10) MalteseMick.................701 11) Bhoy From Brum…………..800 12) Tina…………………………......3456
Sadly I have become quite good at this due to experience and constant let downs over the last 18 years. It's just as well I have a sunny disposition otherwise I'd fear the worst. My mum never tires of reminding me when I was a wee boy how my moods were coincidental with the Aberdeen score. Depression was commonplace. Then the good times arrived in 1976 and I was in heaven. Now at the age of 47 I don't let the insignificant results of a poxy football match to rule my mood swings. There are plenty of other more important things in life to get deprressed about. The human brain. Will never be understood. Sometimes I wish I was a fish or something.
Hello again, it's a beautiful day. That all feels quite familiar, both your experience and observations, and I probably agree with all of it. Having your mood affected for more than one minute by a football result is acceptable if you’re a child, though - as I'm sure your mother would agree. And if I were being very generous, I would give people up until they’re 16 to snap out of this completely. These days, however, I find that even a good result may be met with almost complete indifference (give or take a second or two of mild relief). It just doesn't matter - and pretending that it does lacerates me. Listening to the radio last night, I was reminded why I spent so many years not listening to the radio. The people talking about this stuff for a living are often quite shocking morons lacking any sort of perspective, articulacy or sense of the patent absurdity of what they're actually doing. Giant men-kids who seem incapable of growing up. The relentless dullness rips into me. You’d certainly be doing your bit for the depleted reserves in the North Sea if you became a fish, Toiler. I know it’s just a throwaway comment on the internet, of course, but it’s probably worth looking into? Trawlermen up and down the east coast would salute your gesture, to be honest.
Knowing my luck I will come back as a rabid mutant seagull and hover over ****todrie watching a pile of keech whilst trying to nab one of the cat meat pies at the stall. Forced to watch ****e all over again.