One evening, an old farmer decided to go down to the pond by the bottom orchard. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the water, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He coughed to make the ladies aware of his presence, and they all shot off to the deep end. One of them shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old Farmer frowned, "I didn't come all the way down here to watch you ladies skinny dipping in me pond", holding up the bucket he continued, "I'm here to feed me alligator."
BIG FIGHT TICKETS!!!! Hi everyone, one of my mates has just sent me this because he bought 2 tickets for the big fight on July 30th. 'I have 2 ringside tickets for the Joshua v Fury fight. I paid £2500 each but didn't realise when I bought them it was on the same day as my wedding so if you know anyone that would be interested I'm looking for someone to take my place. The wedding is at Bolton Parish Church at 4pm, the brides name is Julie, she's 5'4" about 115lbs and a great cook too. She will be the one in the white dress.' Enjoy your day folks
It's a bit like the golfer who was with 3 of his mates on the 18th green - his turn to put. A hearse passed by on the road outside the course, and in a gesture of respect, he hesitated putting, standing to attention for a minute while the funeral courtege slid slowly by. One of his golfing buddies asked "Why did you do that Tom, you know that the bar in the clubhouse is now open and we're all gagging for a beer?". "Oh, I forgot to mention, it was my wife's funeral today."
When going fishing take a small action figure with you & then take a photo with your catch to make it seem really impressive...