Coronavirus

I can steal all of yours then

 

Ok I know people are dying, businesses are going out of business. Trust me it could be worse Lee ****ing Evans has nicked my joke

 

He could've at least changed it to Lamp instead of light bulb

 

We’re still playing it imo.

Don’t go to the pub, but we won’t stop you if you insist Dad.

Don’t eat out or go to the theatre and defo avoid crowds, but the bus and the tube are sound.

Personally I wish they’d just call it now. Shut down for 6 weeks, provide some support for wages that isn’t a ****ing loan and we can sort the rest out. The longer we keep dicking around with partial isolation the more the ****er will spread. A shutdown seems inevitable, as that’s how other nations have got on top of it, so just get on with it, otherwise we could have an extended period of severe economic slowdown that eventually ends with a shutdown anyway.

 

Did someone say lamp?

 

£300bn in loans. How generous

Slimy fcking Tory scum. The banks are going to make a killing off the taxpayer... again.

 

Shutdown day is apparently going to be Friday.

 

At least I could die happy

 

So powerful <slurp>

 

Where’s that from mate?

 

You're a traditionalist floor lamp typa person then

 

Just chatter. Probably bollox, I doubt the game show host has given it much thought.

 

I think Brb is going to be so happy with my contribution to this page

 

The light in her eyes could light up the world

 

You do realise if you said that to her the only action you’d get would be to get vomited on.

@petersaxton is that one of your things?

 

And a romantic too!

Though the lamp aint facing her eyes mate

 

I think they’ll just soldier on with the keep your old gibbers inside and just carry on, angle for another week or so tbh.

Then when the daily death rate gets into the high double or treble figures, then they’ll call it.

Having seen the gammon ignoring the lockdown in Spain, heard my old man and his fellow inmates saying they’d ignore it, and the raping of supermarkets, I reckon their behavioural scientists might have a point tbf. We’re a nation of absolute ****ing ****s!

Lock it down, stick the army on the streets, only let people out for essentials, give pensioners solus access to the open shops before noon. **** ‘em.

 

Then let's do it all again next year because nobody will have any resistance to it

 

Here we go!

 

Herd immunity has never been achieved in the modern era without a vaccine.

There’s currently no vaccine anywhere for any form of COVID virus, including SARS that they’ve been trying to crack for 17 years.