Depression...

I did a job that involved very high amounts of stress with long hours under pressure.

Can't say I was ever really depressed but certainly highly stressed at times. And we used to hit the bar whatever. Good week?, let's have a drink - bad week? Let's drown our sorrows.

It was why I got out as early as I could.

 

I'm sure you know the feeling personally

 

Well you could certainly advise on the evils of alcohol.

 

That was over 10 yrs ago. I use alcohol far, far less nowadays. Still enjoy a drink or two, but that's it. One or two.

I'm a gym bore nowadays.

 

Never noticed.

 

I've not read the whole thread yet, but I've suffered most of my life. It's destroyed me at times...

I understand the exercise suggestions but in my experience when depression kicks you in the nuts, it's hard enough to do daily chores let alone go for a ****ing run, or even worse be around people in a gym. I know it helps, and I know people push the idea, but the reality is a lot of people that promote exercise haven't suffered clinical depression.

My story is very complex, and my life has in some senses been a total **** up from the day I was born. All my close family died in one go, when I was very young, put in the care system in Liverpool, got moved to London, put in about 6 different 'children's homes', ran away and lived on The Old Kent Road by Tescos for 10 years in a box, whilst hitting chronic addiction (only that that ever masked my depression). Obviously that's an extremely cut version of events.

Fortunately I turned things round while most of the people I knocked around with are dead or serving life. Clean for 15 years (other than weed and drink!). But the depression is there, and raises it's ugly head fairly often.

I've been on various meds etc. etc. etc. and the only thing that has helped so far is CBD oil. But it's no cure, I'm still searching. There have been times that if I didn't have any kids I would have killed myself, but I stride on and live in hope. That's not an option.

I'm really glad people are now talking about it because it used to be very taboo for a guy to talk about it.

My Mrs has loads of great ideas to make me better (she doesn't suffer with it) but the reality is she hasn't got a ****ing clue what it's like, I've never met anyone that doesn't suffer that does to be honest, but that's cool, why would they?

People around me and at work think I'm excellent etc. but really at times I'm dying inside. I can certainly hide it well, until I'm alone at home.

Libby your best bet is to see your GP and maybe go to CMHT or something similar. Talking therapies can be useful for most people, but the trouble is with me I don't know what to tackle. Family, Drugs, Depression the list goes on. I'm thinking about going private and getting one of the top dogs in the field to see me, that's how badly I want my life to be normal.

PM if you want fam.

 

Did you go down the 12 step path? Obviously you don't have to answer.

 

Socialising is the last thing you want to do when depressed mate. It's hard enough talking to my own kids at times. It's really ****, but I'll get there I'm sure.

 

That's some story, mate. It's hard to know what to say.

As you say, people who don't suffer can't possibly fully understand.

But, don't go!...please! Who's gonna take the piss out of Fossy and Skiddy if you're not here!

 

@brb can you sticky this thread please mate, as I think it'd be useful to have it there long term

Some great advice given so far and I echo most of it. Admitting that you've got a clinical problem is the starting point, the brain is an organ like any other and it sometimes needs treatment........

 

I understand you may not necessarily want to be around others, but surely being locked inside your own head, with no outside stimuli cannot be good for you, if you are depressed.

 

It's not good for you at all. But when depression is at it's worst people do your ****ing head in. Catch 22.

Ideally I'd go to the gym and be round loads of people, but I just can't muster up the strength when I'm going through an episode.

 

Sounds ****ty mate, sorry to hear it.
At least you got your **** in order though, got a Mrs and a job etc.
A lot of people who go through similar ordeals to you end up far worse.
So well done on pulling yourself out of the mire, I mean that sincerely. I have seen the dark side of depression, and how it can end up.

 

One of the reasons I get so pissed off with people on here saying 'you're not from Liverpool, glory hunter' etc etc. is because I ****ing wish I wasn't, and what I went through in Liverpool was ****ing disgraceful from the local authority, immediately after losing everyone that cared about me. **** Liverpool.

 

Cheers for replies everyone, a lot of sound advice there too which I'll try take on board.

Regarding exercise it's probably a great idea but like Sky says putting it in practice is slightly different, espescially as I have lack of time doing shifts n looking after my nipper.

For those who asked if it could be stress then it's certainly not. I've suffered with this on and off for around 15 years... never really gone away but this is worst bout in a long time.

Actually at the best point in my life for years too so i know it's not stress related.

I know that drinking is really not helping and probably a big part of it but it's hard to cut that out when it's my only release... like I say a vicious circle where you drink cos you feel like **** but long term it's a depressant.

Cheers again, some cracking responses here.

 

btw guys if you want to know how important keeping stress levels down is read up on psychoendoneuroimmunology. I studied a couple of units of this at Uni and it is fascinating.

Simply put - it is how stress can **** your immune system up. So stress leads to illness, quite severe illness in some cases.

Probably one of my favourite units to study, really, really interesting.

 

Very true. And not understood by many people. Stress can literally kill!.

 

Some good advice already on here. Every person who suffers with mental illness is different as there are so many factors that lead each person to where they are. Depression is one that the earlier you identify it, the easier it will be to beat. Some people will let it manifest and hope that prescription or even self-administered medication will re-balance them mentally, but from my own experience and people I know, the ones who go out and help themselves, by improving their way of life, such as physical exercise and improved nutrition, they tend to deal with these things better.

Everybody has to find a way that works best for themselves, my advice would be to see your GP because they're not all bad, and start to work on yourself. Often young dads have a way of neglecting themselves to care for their families first and foremost, and whilst it's admirable and noble it goes against every primitive instinct. If man can't hunt, man can't provide. You gotta take the big piece of chicken for yourself bro.

 

It also gives you a legit reason to join mumsnet

 

Mate make time for exercise.

You don't have to become Maria Sharapova but everyone can do something.

Go for a walk or if you're stuck inside do some stretches/routines.

Get an exercise bike if you can't get out.

If you can find time to drink you can find time to exercise.

Its in the mind!