Salvador crime report, part 2. On the beach soaking up the sun and enjoying another coconut water, I am woken to shouting and chasing of a geezer who pinched a mobile. For his troubles he was not able to grab his pushbike for the getaway and took a couple of mighty wacks over his nut with a lump of something resembling a tree branch.
Genuinely hoping that you are next. Trouble is, you are so bloody scruffy robbers will think you are a tramp.
Almost more trouble in Salvador on the last night there, this time it was the dodgy pizza I had and I was fighting against another dose of the trots
Blimey. Do please come back alive Elfs, or we'll never hear the end of it. They'll put Alan Campbell's picture up again on the big screen at the Valley.