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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Guy is getting married and wants to surprise his bride on wedding night by having her name tattooed on his manhood. So off he goes to tattooist.

    He asks him his betrotheds name, "Wendy" he replies. "ok, off and we will have a look" Checks him out and decides that he can't tattoo her name on 3". " Sorry mate, you will have to make it a little bigger for her name to fit".

    Guy obliges and tattoo goes ahead. When arousal settles the letters WDY are clearly visible. Well pleased with his "gift" the guy goes for a good few beers to celebrate. After a while he needs the inevitable pee, so off he goes.

    Standing at the next urinal however is a six ft 7" beast of a bloke with dreadlocks. He can't help but sneak a look. Much to his delight he can see 'WDY' tattooed on the guys manhood. " Oh, is your wife's name Wendy as well??"

    " No man", he replies, "Mine says 'Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day' "
     
    #11981
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 2, 2021
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11982
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 2, 2021
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  3. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    Haven't heard this joke since the 80's! Bravo for digging out this classic... :)
     
    #11983
    surreyhoop, Sep 3, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11984
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 3, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11985
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2021
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  6. Goldhawk-Road

    Goldhawk-Road Well-Known Member

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    Per Sean Lock in standup in Margate, not long before his death:

    ...I've been thinking about a bucket list. Things to do before I die. The kids said I should have one. Do you know a poll was taken, and "swimming with dolphins" came up as the most popular of all bucket list items? Of course, if people are honest, there's a greater one. Heroin. Heroin should be top of everyone's bucket list. You go down to Waterloo Bridge and ask the poor sods lying wasted in puddles under the arches what they want most in the world. They're not going to say they want to swim with ****ing dolphins.
     
    #11986
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2021
    Goldhawk-Road, Sep 5, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11987
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11988
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2021
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11989
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 5, 2021
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #11990
    kiwiqpr, Sep 6, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11991
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 6, 2021
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11992
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 6, 2021
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Rugby news:

    The entire Wasps side has tested positive for Covid, so this week end they will be fielding their Bee Team
     
    #11993
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 6, 2021
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11994
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 6, 2021
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11995
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 7, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11996
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 8, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Grandpa found Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet and asked if he could try one. The son said, "I don't know, they're very strong and expensive." "How much?" he asked. “£10 a pill,” the son said. "I don't care. I'll try one, and leave the money under your pillow.” The next morning the son found £110.00 under his pillow. He tells Grandpa, "I said each pill was £10.00, not £110.00." "I know, Grandpa replies, "the £100 is from Grandma.!!!
     
    #11997
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 9, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11998
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 10, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11999
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 10, 2021
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  20. Trammers

    Trammers Well-Known Member

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    Another version of that.......

    Residents have complained about the noise from the practice sessions ABBA have been putting in prior to their tour.......you can hear the drums from Nandos......
     
    #12000
    Trammers, Sep 10, 2021
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