Paddy , Seamus , and murphy wanted to get into the Olympics but the tickets were all sold out . Looking round they saw a construction site. Paddy said " Ive got a great idea " and proceded to share his idea with his friends . Paddy picks up a long piece of scaffolding , walks to the competitors entrance and says " Im here for the pole vault " and security let him in . Seamus finds a manhole cover and proceeds to the entrance and says " Im here for the discus .Murphy goes over to the entrance carrying a roll of barbed wire . The security guard asks " What are you here for ?" . Paddy replies " Fencing " . !
Boris Johnson visited a village in Cornwall and asked the inhabitants what the govt could do for them. We have 2 big needs said the village spokesman. The first is we have a health centre but no doctor. Boris whipped out his mobile, talked for a while then said, That's sorted, you'll have a doctor here tomorrow. Now, what was your other need? Well, we have no mobile reception at all in our village, so . . . .