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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30401
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to Clarence House early today to give King Charles a haircut cut ahead of his official engagements.

    I said to the guard, "Can you let me in, I'm here to cut the Kings Hair".

    The guard said ," Have you got a Permit?".

    No, I said, just a bit off the back"
     
    #30402
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30403
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30404
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I sat next to a very obese monk on the bus. We got chatting and all he talked about was philosophy and theology.

    He was a deep fat friar.
     
    #30405
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    HELP NEEDED URGENTLY !! Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on EBay?

    Yesterday I put in a bid for a cowboy outfit.

    And now I'm apparently 5 mins away from owning Man Utd..
     
    #30406
    Wooperts_duck, May 9, 2024
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:
    ‘The tender one’
    ‘The amazing one’
    ‘Lady of my dreams’
    She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.
    Then she called the second number to which his sister replied.
    When she dialled the third number her own phone rang.
    She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband,
    so, she gave him her whole month’s salary to make up for it.
    Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend, whose name was saved as:
    ‘Uncle Mick the mechanic’
     
    #30407
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30408
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30409
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30410
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30411
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #30412
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  13. antipodean exile

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    #30413
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  14. antipodean exile

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    #30414
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #30415
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #30416
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #30417
    antipodean exile, May 10, 2024
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30418
    Wooperts_duck, May 10, 2024
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30419
    Wooperts_duck, May 10, 2024
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #30420
    Wooperts_duck, May 10, 2024
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