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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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    FB_IMG_1669635475164.jpg
     
    #20821
    spirit of 73, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, cumbrianmackem and 4 others like this.
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
    Forum Moderator

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    Two workers at a furniture factory fell off a gantry into a cushion making machine. Fortunately, one has fully recovered and the other is comfortable.
     
    #20822
    Gordon Armstrong, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, cumbrianmackem and 3 others like this.
  3. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-12-1_11-18-44.png
     
    #20823
    Vincemac, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Godfrey and 6 others like this.
  4. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I asked my wife to rate my listening skills
    She said your an eight on a scale of ten
    Still don’t know why she wants me too urinate on a skeleton
     
    #20824
    one gary owers, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, C19RK73 and 6 others like this.
  5. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    I warned the kids about using whistles in the house
    I gave them one last chance
    Unfortunately
    They blew it
     
    #20825
    one gary owers, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, cumbrianmackem and 4 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar ?

    He got 25 days.



    <sorry>
     
    #20826
    Gordon Armstrong, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, cumbrianmackem and 2 others like this.
  7. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    My wife says I have two major faults
    I don’t listen
    And something else
     
    #20827
    one gary owers, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Essayyeffcee and 10 others like this.
  8. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    Jenny came skipping home from school and said mommy mommy the class was asked to count today
    Most could only count to 4 but I counted to 10
    Clever girl said mommy
    Is it because I’m blonde
    Yes said her mommy
    Jenny came skipping home from school the next day and said
    Mommy we had gym today and in the shower all the girls were flat chested and I had these
    Lifts up her tank top and revels 36c breasts is it because I’m blonde mommy
    No said mommy
    It’s because you’re 24
     
    #20828
    one gary owers, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Makemstine Roger and 4 others like this.
  9. one gary owers

    one gary owers Well-Known Member

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    My inflatable house got a puncture yesterday
    Now I’m living in a flat
     
    #20829
    one gary owers, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Makemstine Roger and 6 others like this.
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    What kind of music do elves listen to ?

    Wrap



    <sorry>
     
    #20830
    Gordon Armstrong, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Gil T Azell and 3 others like this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    upload_2022-12-1_13-44-18.jpeg
     
    #20831
    Gordon Armstrong, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Essayyeffcee and 8 others like this.
  12. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I’m not saying I’m skint or anything, but I’ve just opened the first door on my advent calendar and the bailiff was there.
     
    #20832
    MrRAWhite, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Smug in Boots and 8 others like this.
  13. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-12-1_16-17-3.png
     
    #20833
    MrRAWhite, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Gil T Azell and 10 others like this.
  14. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    When telling me I’m the most unthoughtful person in the world , the wife gives me hell about it. I don’t under why because my Buddhist master says he’s proud of me for it
     
    #20834
    gelders pie, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, spirit of 73 and 2 others like this.
  15. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    EB493B5D-987B-4F5A-BCA5-4AC6BCE58394.jpeg
     
    #20835
    MrRAWhite, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, spirit of 73 and 8 others like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Two elderly gentlemen sipping their beer outside a pub...
    One points to a dog licking its genitals and says:

    "Hey Bert, I wish I could do that"

    Bert marks a pause, and replies:

    "Well, I'm sure he'd let you if you gave him a biscuit"
     
    #20836
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, farnboromackem and 5 others like this.
  17. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I said to a mate, "I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings last month and she hasn't talked to me since."
    "Why not?"
    "That was part of the deal."
     
    #20837
    Gil T Azell, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, farnboromackem and 7 others like this.
  18. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    As I lay in bed with the missus one night she looked at me sadly and said, I think the romance has all but gone from our relationship"
    I was so surprised I had to stop w*nking
     
    #20838
    Gil T Azell, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Essayyeffcee and 8 others like this.
  19. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My wife could learn a lot from the family dog.
    I mean, the way his face lights up whenever I offer him a bone...
     
    #20839
    Gil T Azell, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, spirit of 73 and 7 others like this.
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    would that offer be doggystyle perchance mate :emoticon-0131-angel :emoticon-0100-smile
     
    #20840
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 1, 2022
    Whittylad, Draig, Gil T Azell and 2 others like this.
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