Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

If u know.

 

A mummy has been found in a previously secret tomb, covered in a chocolatey substance and shredded nuts.
Archeologist believe that it could be the young Pharaoh Roche.

 

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our blowholes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realised the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

 

Shut it tadger!

 

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When a young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all on his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.”

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It’s has to be your ears.”

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.

I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin — not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?”


Clearing his throat, he stammered... “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... that was me.”

 

• A woman was breast feeding her baby, when she noticed the window cleaner watching her.Indignantly, she said, "what do you think you"re staring at?"He replied, apologetically, "when I was a baby, I was bottle fed so I was just fascinated."The woman says, "well, baby"s had enough but there"s some left if you want to find out what it"s like."The window cleaner climbed in through the window and started to feed.After a short time, the woman realised that she was becoming aroused and she asked, "would you like a little bit of some thing else?"He replied, "have you got a rusk?"

 

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"

 

That's a lovely looking bike

 

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