Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Steven Toast, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    I have a feeling that the long hours of being isolated have taken a toll on him. From being held in high esteem and being a footballing hero to becoming an anonymous figure cooped up in a hotel, must be hard.

    I think that this hotel lark that players get into is quite detrimental to their mental health at the best of times, never mind during lockdown. Richie Smallwood eluded to how hard it is to make freinds in a squad, when he lives in Rotherham. I can imagine that Marcus is feelling more than just a bit homesick.

    I didnt like his approach to the game, but hope he gets some help.
     
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  2. TheCasual

    TheCasual Well-Known Member

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    I'm really struggling with a work life balance at the moment.

    I work in social care. Last month we two staff members suspended and we had to make up hours and then we get two new staff and then someone goes and leaves. I've had two weekends off in 20 weeks.

    I've had a one to one today and stated if things don't improve I'll have to look for another job.
     
    #642
  3. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    There is a danger in being in your position and that is that your discontent makes it harder for you to see the issues and you become embittered.

    You need to take the negatives, put them into a mental package and discard them.

    Write a letter outlining everything that is negative that you see in your job.
    Then write one about the positives.
    Think more and longer about the positives until you can focus more on these.
    Go to sleep on a night after reading and recalling the positives. Then the next day, seek them out. The single smile or thank you, the job that only you know that has been done well.
    Look for another job and imagine how a future employer would read your first negative letter and then another would read your positive.
    You can then say that you want to leave because the positives in working were you were not enough for you and you are seeking employment where you can find more positives.
    Any employer will want someone with a positive attitude and none will want one with a negative.
    Believe me, if you mention any negatives, these will be picked up.
    It might be hard to do but really give it a try.
     
    #643
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2021
  4. Ric Glasgow

    Ric Glasgow Well-Known Member

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    Do you 'Have To' make up the hours The Casual.

    If it's having an adverse effect on you then just explain that you can't continue this way or you are going to end up unwell..Take care mate:emoticon-0148-yes:
     
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  5. Des Head

    Des Head Well-Known Member

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    Quit and work somewhere else. Work your notice if you want, I never have.
     
    #645
  6. lammytv200

    lammytv200 Well-Known Member

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    Best thread ever i was diagnosed with bowl cancer in december had surgery and its been ****ty but i read through every post on this thread and feel good so thank you but the friday thread really helps so thanks again.
     
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  7. Ernie Shackleton

    Ernie Shackleton Well-Known Member

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    All the best Marra.
     
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  8. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Well done fella, keep fighting, because every day is a good day <ok>
     
    #648
  9. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    We had hard day today, one of many that you will face too. Telephone consultation with the oncologist.
    One year to the day that my wife had her bladder removed.
    The fight goes on, for us it will not end. But we have another year of treatment for this horrid disease.
    We went out to the pub and had a meal. The second in a year.
    The fact is that the worse moments are the ones that we all dread.
    Today the news was that more treatment is needed, but there is no apparent urgency.

    So we celebrate life as ever, a different life but still worth a celebration.

    Best of luck.
     
    #649
  10. lammytv200

    lammytv200 Well-Known Member

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    #650

  11. lammytv200

    lammytv200 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the love it has made me feel good thanks again.
     
    #651
  12. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if this had been posted before. This has a top video about mental health from one of our own and Tyson Fury.

     
    #652
  13. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  14. Ernie Shackleton

    Ernie Shackleton Well-Known Member

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    Wow.

    Good luck to the girl. The potential for her to now live a fulfilling life using her experiences to support and help others is immense.


    On a different mental health note, a colleague of mine has had her life turned upside down in an instant after her husband received a cancer diagnosis a couple of weeks ago.

    I'm trying to support her - practically by arranging crisis leave etc, but also by talking to her about whilst she's going 100% on supporting her fella she needs to look after herself too.

    She confessed to me yesterday that she can't handle the guilt of her colleagues increasing their workload in order to support her. We're all happy to do it but...

    Don't be nice to me, it'll make me cry. That's such an irrational thought but such a human one.


    Let's support each other folks. It's the only way.




    EDAGD.

    I often think of the most inspirational person I never met when I'm down. Bless you Filey.
     
    #654
  15. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    That’s such a common response from experience (guilt when others fill the space while you take time off)
    I don’t know the best way to counter it, other than talking which you obviously are and that’s great.
    What I have said in the past is people shouldn’t feel guilty, she’s going through a crap time now, but sadly others will do in the future and she might need to do the same in return then, and everyone knows she will do.
     
    #655
  16. TheCasual

    TheCasual Well-Known Member

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    https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/new...rtbreak-hull-university-student-takes-5475359

    My girlfriend use to work for Mind and supported young girl. This girl she supported completed suicide a couple of weeks ago. It's really affected her.

    Thankfully she works as social worker in community mental health in the NHS who have been brilliant.

    The sad thing is this girl looked like she was getting her life back on track.
     
    #656
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  17. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    She's got the right friend on her team, Cas. Sadly you have more than enough experience in such things.

    Take care my friend x
     
    #657
  18. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    The last 14 months have reshaped my life.

    Lockdown and my wife’s condition have had a major impact on me.

    Lockdown was a sort of cocooning experience, here I was insulated from life by the restrictions. Blaming Covid for stopping me doing things when in reality I didn’t want to do anything anyway.

    Cancer became a label to be attached to things. We can’t come because of my wife’s cancer, sorry my wife has cancer and I cannot do what you want, I am depressed, my wife has cancer.

    The fact is that I needed a break, a recharge if you like. It hasn’t helped much yet, but it will. I am still in that state that is like waking up after snoring all night and not feeling rested. The label is slowly being unpeeled from our life and we do not talk or think of it constantly like we did.

    Treatment starts again next month, but this time no labelling, no concerns or worry.

    Life moves on, it’s different but it is still life and on a sunny day in the garden, I can actually smell the roses and be happy.
     
    #658
  19. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Keep it up Tom. You and your wife are being so brave. Keep on talking, I think it helps you just a little bit and that's amazing that a thread like this can do that. x
     
    #659
  20. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    That is a top way and a great way of explaining and is so easy to follow and relate to.

    Cheers TOM stay positive.
     
    #660
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