My predictions for the euros: After receiving racist abuse, Mario Balotelli will leave the pitch and refuse to play. The ref will stop the game until the offending fans are removed. Septic (Get it?!) Blatter will come out and finally condemn racism, confirming for us simpletons, that it its, in fact, bad. Jetro Willems will also suffer indefensible chants. He too will leave the field, followed by the rest of the Netherlands team, and the game will not continue until the guilty fans are removed. Ashley Cole will leave the pitch after having several banana trees, a bass guitar, half a city's worth of KFC and the surviving members of the Jackson Five thrown on him. He will be shown a second yellow for leaving the field without the Ref's consent. Whilst the english protest this (during which, Rooney and Gerrard both recieve straight red cards) their opponents will play on and score the decisive goal of the tie, despite the fact that only one English player was playing at the time. They will then go on to dominate the remainder of what was a close game and claim to be "far superior". Platini, Blatter and the ref in question will defend the sending off of Cole becuase that's what the rules say and will swear blind that there was no evidence of racism against Cole anyway. On top of that, they will blame Cole for his "reckless haircut" that earnt him his first yellow and meant he was on a knife edge for the rest of the game. The official reason for the Gerrard and Rooney red cards will be "unsporting behaviour and bringing the game into disripute as in article 3.12...... Just to avoid coming across as a complete bitter fool, the above has been written with my tongue firmly in my cheek and is intended for comic effect.
