The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    There were three native Indian women. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant.

    The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.

    This just goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
     
    #8761
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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  3. Wooperts_duck

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    #8763
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

    It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

    Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week
     
    #8764
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Those Space X lads aren’t due back for a while.

    Plenty of time for everyone to buy a gorilla suit and learn to ride a horse.
     
    #8765
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  6. Wooperts_duck

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  7. Wooperts_duck

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  8. Wooperts_duck

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  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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  11. Wooperts_duck

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  12. Wooperts_duck

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  13. Wooperts_duck

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  14. Wooperts_duck

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  15. Wooperts_duck

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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    An Irish Priest transferred to Texas:
    Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish.
    He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
    He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
    He promptly called the local police station.
    The conversation went like this:
    “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
    “And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple of’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
    Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied,
    “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
    There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…
    Father O’Malley then replied, “Aye, ’tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”
     
    #8776
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

    I can't believe the currant exchange rate.
     
    #8777
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  18. Wooperts_duck

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  19. Wooperts_duck

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  20. Wooperts_duck

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