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The barnsley joke page

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by kiwiqpr, Mar 25, 2014.

Page 677 of 748
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13521
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 11, 2023
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
    I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing'
    What do they say?' the priest asked.
    They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
    That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
    Then he thought for a moment.....
    You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible...
    Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
    My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.'
    Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
    The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... As he ushered her in,
    She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..
    Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them...
    After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'
    There was stunned silence... One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
    'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered! ..
     
    #13522
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 11, 2023
    San Diego and Makemstine Roger like this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I need some advice ,what is the right amount of Roses to give my girlfriend on Valentines Day.

    6 ,12 or 24 ?


    Or the whole tin ?
     
    #13523
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 11, 2023
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went shopping for underpants. The chap said they sold
    X fronts
    Y fronts
    and R fronts.
    I asked what were R fronts. He said try a pair.

    So I put them on, I went
    Aaaaaàrrrrrrhhh...........
     
    #13524
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 11, 2023
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Saw the worst Mind Reader ever, last night.
    Mind Reader: "Think of a Card, any Card."
    Me: "OK".
    Mind Reader: "Visualise it in your Mind."
    Me: "OK".
    Mind Reader: "Is it the Nine of Clubs?"
    Me: "No".
    Mind Reader: "Ace of Spades??"
    Me: "No".
    Mind Reader: "What is it Then???"
    Me: "Happy Birthday..."
     
    #13525
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 11, 2023
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  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-2-11_23-32-57.png
     
    #13526
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 11, 2023
    San Diego, Makemstine Roger and Wooperts_duck like this.
  7. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-2-12_18-52-48.png
     
    #13527
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 12, 2023
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  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    your lucky it could have been Swansea:emoticon-0127-lipss:emoticon-0141-whew::bandit:<whistle><whistle><whistle><whistle>:)
     
    #13528
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 12, 2023
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #13529
    kiwiqpr, Feb 13, 2023
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  10. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #13530
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 13, 2023
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  11. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-2-13_19-36-48.jpeg
     
    #13531
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 13, 2023
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  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13532
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 13, 2023
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13533
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 13, 2023
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  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2023-2-14_12-52-8.png
     
    #13534
    Taffvalerowdy, Feb 14, 2023
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13535
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 14, 2023
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13536
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 15, 2023
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #13537
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 15, 2023
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #13538
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 15, 2023
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  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><applause>
     
    #13539
    Makemstine Roger, Feb 15, 2023
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    We use to have a teacher called Miss Turtle at school…she was a strange woman…but she tortoise well.
     
    #13540
    Wooperts_duck, Feb 21, 2023
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Page 677 of 748
: this kiwi dont eat worms, kiwi never sleeps, kiwi was here, LIKE KIWI, kiwis watching you lot, kiwi farts a lot

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