The Cwarr07 Utter Tripe Thread

Bump!

Today....

Colin ‏@cwarr07

Lots of players being offered to #NUFC N'Zogbia one of those. Already very active behind the scenes, have lessons been learnt?

 

Check out Tash's home done vid if you've never heard of Colin....

 

#zogonthetyne

 

Zogonthetyne returns

 

He is such a bellend, if you read his feed you can see him start to formulate the lie:

Mention N'Zogbia not playing for Villa,
Mention Newcastle's need for pace,
Mention N'Zogbia's pace.
Mention the fact that you've mentioned him.
Mention the reasons you mentioned him.
MAKE UP THE RUMOUR!

 

the worse thing is... the prick probably believes it himself.
Next up will be Barnetta having a coffee in Jesmond.

 

The trick is to name every player we are linked with and when 1 of the 1000 players sign pass it off as your own genius journalism.
Cwarr's twitter journalism 101.

 

has he given that £50 to the bobby robson fund yet?

Sent from my GT-I9100P using Tapatalk 2

 

Have to say, I'd love to see N'Zog back

 

he bottled it mate. what a dick he is.

 

Burn TheJPF! I don't want the incredible sulk anywhere near our squad disrupting the harmony. I do want a left winger who can score....................hang on, damn you Zog you are a decent option.

Aaarrrggghhhh brain overload

Sang in the rhythm of Bump and Grind by R Kelly because his words won't work.

"My heart is telling me no, but my mind, my mind is telling me yes"

 

Your heart doesn't belong to him, but your mind belongs to Zoggie.

 

N'Zobia is an incredible footballer, better than most of our current squad... I think his stinking French attitude would fit in well to be fair, the fact we've never come back from being behind tells me the lads we have aren't exactly model professionals! Oh Germany have invaded? Let's give up. Oh we're one nil down, let's give up.

He probably would affect morale a bit, but that's why I've come up with a 5 point plan to minimize the risk:
1. We stick him in a sound proof bubble at anytime he is not either playing or training.
2. The bubble contains a tv which plays cartoons all day and night. I think he'd like that.
3. In training and on the pitch he must wear a ball-gag. Obi and Poshminx have one we can borrow apparently
4. The first team squad will all take sleeping pills. Helps with insomnia.
5. He must wear a bag over his head at all times (it will have eye holes, I'm not a monster). Why? Well DT fancies enough of the first team squad, to the point where it's uncomfortable discussing players she'll unnecessarily bias with her hotness rating, and N'Zogbia is undoubtedly a very sexy man.

Charlie was very unfortunate not to get more game time when he first emerged, but we did have Robert . I think he'll forever moan about never getting a chance with Arsenal et al (where I think he would have become great), but screw it... I'd rather he sexily moped around the place and we won some games!