Off Topic The Golfing Thread

Everybody loves a trier mate, you can't all be as good as me and Bill.

They should call it the slut.

 

Wtf is saddams? Is it where you are git **** so shoot everybody to make sure you win?

Draws and nipple lickers bit sounds canny. Siunds like a reet pervs game.

Now i'll have to gan out and buy some stick things.

 

Learned a bit about golf today - I thought a handicap meant that if you were good you had to play with one hand behind your back. Learn something every day

 

Im an expert on golf now.

Ive learned its a game for reet pervs. All they talk about is birds, draws and licking nipples.

Oh and trying to get their balls into some hole.


Think i like this game now.

 

Plus if you get really ****ing good at it, you get to shag 500 birds and get paid $50m for it.

What's not to like?

I'm off to get my ****ing glove out and practice my swing.

 

And the players are not very clean if you go to the bogs in a golf club they have signs up telling the golfers not to wash their balls in the sink - dirty f**ers

 

I had a **** in a sink at Stamford Bridge - league cup semi, 1985.

 

It's probably still there.

 

Were you that pi**ed you thought you were at Blackpool?

 

a Saddam is when you go from one bunker straight into another one

 

make sure you don't use a belt like Billy though

 

Don't forget slope ratings!

I'm decent, around 9 these days, but getting nee practice so chances of hitting below my youth rate are dwindling. Only the one hole in one, 6 iron on a 165 metre par 3: The 8th at Beroun, just outside Prague. http://www.golfberoun.cz. Canny ****ing shot, like!!

Course had only been open a year and I nailed the first hole in 1. ****ers wouldn't mount my ball though, despite player witnessing the shot who'd signed my card, coz it wasn't a competition. Got fobbed off with a Lacoste polo instead, twats.

I've got a new set for the first time in 10yr, so naturally my game has gone to double-****: Cobra CB/MBs 3-9, Titleist wedges and older Ping I-20 driver. Will decide on which 2-iron utility to take when the cobra one is avail to test. It's either that or the Titleist. A season to consolidate, push my hcap up, then get on the competition trail.

Boring ****, I knarrrr.

 

I've come for my par!

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Crumble, you should organize a 606 golf tournament mate it would be ****ing awesome. I would bring my 16 handicap to that party.

 

Not a bad idea!! I Know it's far away but the golf club I was a member of in Oxford (Studley Wood) was amazing and the greens were some of the best of ever played. Well worth a play regardless.

 

not boring in the slightest, well to us golfers it aint

 

How to boost membership levels.

 

wish we had lady members like that at our club, they are all swamp donkeys....except for the wife

 

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Blair O’Neal
This blonde bombshell also happens to know how to bomb a golf ball—she’s a two-time NCAA women’s long-drive champion.

 

I'm in. I'll bring my 28 handicap to the party