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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4261
    kiwiqpr, Dec 19, 2019
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  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4262
    kiwiqpr, Dec 19, 2019
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4263
    kiwiqpr, Dec 19, 2019
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  4. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    stressed Referee goes to a psychologist
    He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".
     
    #4264
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Dec 20, 2019
  5. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    #4265
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Dec 20, 2019
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  6. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    20200105_180404.jpg
     
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    Zanjinho, Jan 5, 2020
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4267
    kiwiqpr, Jan 5, 2020
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, Jan 5, 2020
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, Jan 5, 2020
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

    He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in 10 minutes - meet me in the car park!"
     
    #4270
    kiwiqpr, Jan 6, 2020
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  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, Jan 6, 2020
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  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Men transitioning is a serious subject. They’re not just doing it for the crack.
     
    #4272
    kiwiqpr, Jan 8, 2020
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  13. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    #4273
    Zanjinho, Jan 11, 2020
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4274
    kiwiqpr, Jan 12, 2020
  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    kiwiqpr, Jan 12, 2020
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I handed my wife a brand new pair of black stockings. She winked and said, "Shall I go upstairs?" I said, "No, get your coat, We're off to rob a petrol station."
     
    #4276
    kiwiqpr, Jan 12, 2020
  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I came home the other night and my wife said "Have you seen my flip-flops?" I said "I've seen them before, now put your bra back on"
     
    #4277
    kiwiqpr, Jan 12, 2020
  18. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    My mother used to wash my hair in lager It wasn't until years later that I discovered I'd been Fostered.
     
    #4278
    kiwiqpr, Jan 12, 2020
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  19. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4279
    kiwiqpr, Jan 13, 2020
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  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #4280
    kiwiqpr, Jan 15, 2020
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