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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

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  1. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6101
    kiwiqpr, Jul 13, 2022
  2. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6102
    kiwiqpr, Jul 13, 2022
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  3. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    “Doctor, I woke up this morning with this big lump on my left side.”

    Doctor:“Does your wife know you feel this way about her?”
     
    #6103
    kiwiqpr, Jul 13, 2022
  4. moreinjuredthanowen

    moreinjuredthanowen Mafiosi

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    what shark???
     
    #6104
    moreinjuredthanowen, Jul 13, 2022
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I called the coastguard told them I had fallen out of my boat into the ocean.

    They said "Can you be more Pacific"
     
    #6105
    kiwiqpr, Jul 13, 2022
  6. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    A man sees a small boy begging for money
    He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
    The boy asks "what gave me away?"
    The man responds "your parents"
     
    #6106
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Jul 15, 2022
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6107
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6108
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I saw someone waving at me the other day but I wasn’t sure if they were waving at me or someone else so I ignored them.

    In other news I lost my job as a lifeguard.
     
    #6109
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    I went to a ventriloquist’s funeral today, and they sang the hymn

    “All Things Gright And Geautikal !”
     
    #6110
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6111
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6112
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6113
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6114
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  15. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6115
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6116
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
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  17. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6117
    kiwiqpr, Jul 18, 2022
  18. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    I gave the deliveryman a tip and he was extremely ungrateful. He looked straight at me and said "why did you just push me over."
     
    #6118
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Jul 19, 2022
  19. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    Three men are standing at the train station.
    They are talking to each other and they don’t even notice that the train already came and is now already moving. They all run towards the door, and two of them manage to jump on the train, but the third one stays on the platform. An observer comes to the man and says: “wow, your friends are fast!” The man responds: “Yeah, but they were here just to escort me to the train!”
     
    #6119
    LuisDiazgamechanger, Jul 19, 2022
  20. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6120
    kiwiqpr, Jul 19, 2022
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