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What are we all doing this weekend then? Unlike that **** monny (who coincidently, this thread isn't aimed at) I do give a ****

 

I'm off to brunch. Probably have a **** in the toilets when I'm there with the door unlocked.

 

Dreading getting a chap at the door tonight from the plod about the series of brutal assaults carried out by myself last Saturday during the battle of mount Florida

 

I'm spending my weekend playing chap door run across the city of Glasgow.

 

u better not come anywhere near brechin st, finnieston

 

Whit door number should I keep away from?

 

2

 

Working tomorrow. Buying a new suit. Eating curry. Champions League final. Cycling through Pentlands on Sunday if the weather isnae too ****e.

 

What kind of bike do you have, Donny?

 

A bog standard hybrid from Evans. I've given up buying expensive mountain bikes cause I always wreck them.

 

Poof

 

Well, China, I'm glad you asked. I don't think I'm doing much this weekend.

 

We used to call that Knock Down Ginger.

Don't suppose they call it that in Oirland, you'd have to knock on every door in the street.

 

How much you looking to spend on the whistle?

 

About £400

 

Probably won't want to soil yourself when you go out in that then.

I have to buy a suit for a wedding. I was thinking, yeah, less than a monkey. Or go bespoke for around six bills.

 

Just go to next. That's what this Jew did last time.

 

They tend not to cater for the fatter bastid.

 

Being a handsome, muscular sort of bastard I always struggle to get a suit jacket over my shoulders. Probably go to M&S.

 

Tonight, pished probably.
Tomorrow, same
Sunday, mowing down cyclists around the Pentlands with my car.